A New Way of Living
by lovelylittleflowerchild
Summary: Every happy ending begins somewhere; this is their beginning. AU warning
1. Where the Yellow Grass Grows Knee High

Oh, where to begin? I guess I could say I'm posting this as a celebration upon completing my AP US History test...that I probably failed...epically...but I'll say it's because I've worked super hard on this story and I am quite excited to finally be posting! This story is a prequel to my, and anything joint custody with **Iwait4theRain's**, menagerie of AU stories. Why write a prequel? Well, I could give a detailed rationale, but I'll say it's because a prequel explains why things are in an after-thought kind of way; prequels make you say, "Oh, so that's why this is *insert word choice here*. Also, I can proudly say this is the longest story I ever wrote; fifteen chapters and FYI, I'm never writing anything this long ever again!

And before I let you embark on my story, I want to thank **Iwait4theRain** for being awesome sauce and at times my unofficial beta; me hearts you. Also, Tony tastes like cotton candy and there is glitter on my keyboard! BLARG! To** CouchPotato94**: you are really my long-lost sister. And it isn't wrong to love tuna! I love both of you and hope you special girlies, and anyone else who may read this, enjoys. And if you don't enjoy it, well...I'm sorry that I made you sad. You can PM me if you would like a forgiveness hug. Yes I'm being serious.

Heck, if I owned West Side Story, I'd do a rewrite and have all the characters singing Beatles songs. Nor do I own any of the songs used to top off my chapters; they are simply borrowed frosting on my own cupcakes.

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><p><strong>Come away with me on a bus<strong>

**Come away where they can't tempt us ****with their lies**

**And I want to walk with you ****on a cloudy day**

**In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high**

**So won't you try to come?**

**Come away with me and we'll kiss ****on a mountaintop**

**Come away with me a****nd I'll never stop loving you**

**_~"_Come Away With Me" by Norah Jones**

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><p>Tony sat at the counter in complete shock at what he had just witnessed and prevented. The only reason he even ventured upstairs was because he thought it was Maria who was screaming for mercy; to find it was Anita who was in a plight made Tony even more angry. She was just doing a favor for a friend; a friend who was running away with her own lover's murderer. Tony didn't find this fair at all. <em>Hadn't Anita gone through enough tonight?<em> he thought. And the worst part in all of this was that Anita had sworn Tony to secrecy. Anita told him that the only way she would never tell where he and Maria ran off to would be if Tony never told Maria what those boys tried to do to her.

It didn't seem right, it _wasn't _right to keep something like that in the shadows. Then again, Tony killed someone and wasn't speaking up about it, so he really couldn't point fingers. Tony and Anita were running away from their inner darkness; Anita was doing it alone and Tony was doing it with Maria.

The little bell above the door jingled, and Tony jumped up from his seat. Any little noise made him feel nervous; he'd been rather jumpy since the fight.

"Tony," was all Maria said. She walked towards him with open arms and she eagerly fell into his. "I am sorry I took so long. Did Anita give you my message?"

"Yeah," Tony whispered. _You must never tell Maria; I do not want her to know. It may hurt her in ways that even you could not make better. But I still wish the two of you well; I know that you will take care of Maria. _Anita's words echoed through Tony's mind. He pulled away from Maria only the slightest bit and smiled at her. "Anita said that she wishes us well."

"Good. She took so long, I thought maybe something happened or that…"

"No, nothing happened," Tony reassured her. Maria ran her fingers over the frayed ends of Tony's sleeve, proof that the fight had gone through.

"I hope things are easier for us."

"Me too Maria. All we have to do is wait until Doc gets back; then we'll be set to go." Tony noticed how Maria's face took on a shade of uncertainty. He put a hand to her cheek and stared into her eyes.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"If it is the only way we can be together, then yes, I am sure."

The door opened once again as Doc slowly came in. He smiled at Tony, not sure if he should be happy for him because he found a way out of the city, or upset at him for running from the police.

"Doc, this is Maria," Tony said, totally enamored. Doc couldn't help but feel happy for Tony when he saw how for himself how this Maria girl made him feel. She was rather young, Doc thought. But he guessed Tony was pretty young too. After giving Tony an envelope, Doc looked at the young couple.

"I hope you two find what you're looking for out there."

"So do we." Tony stole a glance of Maria before slipping an arm around her waist. "Thanks for helping us; I promise I'll pay you back someday."

Before Doc could protest, Tony and Maria were already out the door.

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><p>The bus station was empty, with the exception of some people in tattered clothing slumped over benches. As Tony tried to decipher the map of stops, Maria thought about what lay ahead. She knew that the future was uncertain, but the future also held hope. The future being bright was based on faith and faith alone; this whole affair was a leap of faith.<p>

"You ready?" Tony came up behind Maria and flashed two tickets to her. Maria slowly took one from his hand and smiled.

"Yes, I am."

"Good, 'cause I'm ready to get out of here."

**~.~**

Once situated on the bus, the reality of what Tony and Maria were doing had set in. With their hands joined, Maria looked at Tony.

"I love you."

"I love you too. And I promise to always love you."

Maria rested her head on Tony's shoulder, taking in the scent of his shirt. She then closed her eyes and dreamed of that somewhere Tony promised her. She envisioned open fields, like the ones full of tropical flowers back in San Juan, fresh air that held only the smell of rain and not fumes from cars. Maria eventually fell into a deep sleep letting the city, and the pain that came with it, melt away.


	2. Suddenly Everything Changed

A few words! The song I used for this chapter is what I believe sums up love; it's sweet, straight from the heart, and sounds like a song that someone spent an afternoon writing in their room. This week has also been filled with me completing summer job applications out the wazoo. Word to the wise: if you use drugs, have anger issues, or have committed any felonies, you can knock bagging groceries off of your job list. Happy Friday the Thirteenth as well...was this a bad day to update? :/

Also, many thanks to my reviewers Iwait4theRain, broken-paige, and Penny L. Pingleton; your words of kindness mean so much to me. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story too! :3

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><p><strong>This is the first day of my life<strong>

**I swear I was born right in the doorway **

**I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed**

**They're spreading blankets on the beach **

**Yours is the first face that I saw; ****I think I was blind before I met you**

**And I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been**

**But I know where I want to go**

**~"First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes**

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><p>The following morning, Tony was woken up by the low, droning hum of an engine. At first, he thought he was dreaming, for outside, was a sun rise - a clear sunrise not blocked out by smog. A beautiful sight Tony thought the sunrise was, but the sight next to him was more beautiful.<p>

Maria looked so peaceful, Tony thought. So serene. So content. She was like that perfect sunrise on the horizon; full of hope and warmth, ready to take on the new day and leave the previous night behind. With a gentle hand, Tony shook Maria's shoulder to wake her - even though he would of rather left her alone.

"Maria. Maria, wake up."

Maria slowly opened her eyes, forgetting that she had spent the night on a bus. She was reminded of that, however, when she moved her stiff legs. After letting her eyes adjust to the daylight, she turned to Tony.

"Where are we?" Maria asked with the wide-eyed innocence of a child.

"We're - somewhere."

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><p>Maria sat on a bench, watching Tony as he paid for cups of coffee at a newsstand. <em>This is for real now, <em>she thought; _no turning back_. She and Tony were miles away from the city and left not even an imprint of themselves in that God forsaken place. No letters, no hints. Nothing. It was if they never even existed - which perhaps was for the better.

Like Tony had told her the previous night: _"We'll go so far away they'll never find us." _And far away they went indeed. Maria had yet to see a car on the twisty road that ran past the bus station. But it was only morning; she thought perhaps unlike people in the city, people in the country didn't drive at all hours of the day. That was one thing Maria knew she wouldn't miss: the noise. If things were always as quiet as they were now, she would enjoy her new life.

"Here."

Maria glanced up and saw Tony handing her a flimsy paper cup. "Thank you."

Tony smiled a bit and sat down next to Maria. Now, he didn't have to hide his love away; there was no one around but the man at the newsstand to see them. As Tony took a sip of his coffee (which tasted more like water tinted brown), he looked towards the lonely country road. He then looked to Maria, whose eyes were lost in her cup. He wondered what she was thinking. He wondered if they were thinking about the same things; like where they went from here or what the future held in its arms for them.

"Maria?"

"Yes?"

"What are you thinking about?"

Maria looked towards the fields that seemed to engulf the road in their green color. "I do not really know. But, sometimes that is better."

"Do you really think that?"

This time, Maria looked at Tony. She placed a hand on his and smiled. "Yes I do. I believe things happen for a reason and that God always knows what is best for us."

"I like the sound of that."

Maria smiled once again, giving Tony a feeling inside that made him as happy as a school boy on Valentine's Day. Never had he met a person, or a girl for that matter, who made him feel the way Maria did. Sure, Riff had set him up on plenty dates, but he didn't get this feeling from any of those girls. It was now Tony decided that only someone special could make this present feeling he had possible, like how only the right pieces in a puzzle fit together. Love is a lot like a puzzle he supposed; having to work a long time to find the correct pieces and fit them together, but in the end when everything is where it should be, you have a beautiful image to gaze at.

"Hey Maria?"

"Yes?"

Tony sat his cup down on the bench and took Maria's hands in his. "You know I love you, right?"

Maria smiled. "Of course I do. I love you too."

There was that feeling again. That beautiful, innocent feeling of love.

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><p>"The sky never looked like this city," Tony said one evening. He and Maria were seated on the cement patio of the motel they had been calling home for a week. The cars they watched earlier had been traded for the watching the sky, which was starting to succumb to the night. Maria unglued her eyes from the sky and smiled at Tony. Her nose twitched as Tony lit a cigarette. Tony took note of this and turned to Maria.<p>

"Do you mind?" he asked as one end of the cigarette began to give off an ember glow. Maria shook her head before returning to talk of the picture-perfect sunset above them.

"Nothing compares to the sunsets in San Juan," Maria said as her eyes went back to the sky. As Tony took a drag of his cigarette, his eyes went to the sky too. The purple and pink hues above him seemed so pure, a contrast from the smog-filled skies he had been forced to gaze at for eighteen years. In fact, _everything _about his new surroundings was a contrast to the city.

The idyllic landscape reminded him of pictures in the gardening magazines his mother used to receive. They advertised pictures of open fields dotted with wild flowers, contained order forms to buy hyacinth and tulip bulbs, and reader-submitted tips on how to grow the perfect tomatoes; all of which were completely useless things in the city. For a while, Tony wondered why his mother wasted money on those magazines; she too must of known how pointless they were. Then one day, it hit Tony; those magazines gave his mother something the city never could give her: beauty.

That thought also made Tony wonder why Maria's family would want to leave behind a warm, beautiful island, for a cruddy, dingy city. He recalled one afternoon shortly after taking his job with Doc. Two men had come in, and while they read over stock prices in the paper, they argued about the causes of the recent influx of immigrants from that far away island. One of them had claimed it was due to a bad economy, while the other had said it was simply for a yearning of the "American dream". At the time, Tony disregarded their conversation; it was a boring topic that effected only business-minded adults and his buddy, Riff, who was sure those Puerto Ricans would stir up trouble for the Jets.

But now, things were different; now, there was Maria.

"What was it like?" Tony questioned, breaking the silence that had been between himself and Maria for awhile. He took another long drag of his cigarette, and watched the smoke get carried away by the summer breeze.

"What was what like?" Maria asked, her eyes only leaving the sky when a car pulled into the motel, sending a puff of dust up into the milky twilight. The smoke from Tony's cigarette, mixed with the acrid smell of car fumes blowing off the road, gave Maria a reminder of the city she and Tony left behind.

"Puerto Rico; what was it like?" Tony asked after exhaling a puff of smoke. Maria coughed, prompting Tony to conclude cigarettes were a thing she was not used to being around.

"Do you want to know the good or the bad?" she asked.

Tony traced a finger over Maria's cheek, putting her delicate, almost porcelain, features to memory. "Whatever you want to tell me."

"The beaches were beautiful," Maria paused as she coughed once again, "and so were the sunsets. But, there were also things that were not so beautiful, which is why we came here, to America."

Tony threw his cigarette to the ground and after grinding it under his foot, turned to Maria. "Yeah, but you only saw the city; the country is a lot bigger than Manhattan."

"Oh, but that did not matter. Just to know that I was_ in_ America was still wonderful." Maria scooted closer to Tony now that the cigarette had been extinguished. "Papa would tell 'Nardo and me about how wonderful things would be for us here. 'Nardo did not want to believe him; he said nothing could be better or come close to Puerto Rico." Maria's face took on a melancholy smile. "I think it was Anita who urged him to finally want to come here."

"Bet you were a little disappointed when you didn't see that 'ideal American life' those posters advertise, huh?"

Maria took in a shaky breath. She recalled the day she arrived in Manhattan; skyscrapers, traffic at all hours of the day, they were things Maria had quickly grown used to. It was the prejudice, the hate, the violence, that Maria had not grown used to. Countless nights, her brother would return home with some sort of injury, and while Bernardo had believed Maria was unaware of their source, he was way off.

In fact, it had been Anita who explained Bernardo's war games to Maria. It had only been three weeks since her arrival to America, that Anita had lamented to Maria about, in her opinion, Bernardo's foolish ideas. He claimed that his gang was his way of embracing American culture, and that it was the only way to stand up against those mocking white boys. Maria also remembered Anita calling her brother "a silly child" and saying that someday he'd get himself killed if he wasn't careful. Maria bet Anita regretted those words now.

"I was not disappointed; there were just things I could not get used to, that is all." Maria watched a lanky man walk out of the motel office and back to the car that had pulled in earlier. After removing a suitcase from the back seat, he made his way across the dusty parking lot and to the room next door. He gave a nod to the pair before walking inside.

"Maria?"

Maria pulled her eyes back to Tony, a task that was becoming easier to do everyday. "Yes?"

"Look, I know now, things may seem confusing, but they won't be like this forever; I promise."

"I know they will not; it will take time for things to get how we want them, but we will have each other."

Tony intertwined his hand with Maria's and smiled at her. "Yeah, we will."

It was now, the pair realized the sunset had long ago faded, and the buzzing neon motel sign had kicked on. Maria batted at a moth as it fluttered past her face, before it traveled to it's intended destination, that was the light bulb above her head. The sky was sprinkled with an array of stars; those tiny celestial bodies were something she hadn't seen for awhile. The nighttime city lights had been far too bright,and out shone even the most brilliant of stars. But here, outside the city, a world where artificial color and man-made lights were non-existent, she could see the stars once again; and this made Maria happy.

Maria glanced over at Tony, who seemed just as mesmerized by the starry sky as she was.

"I think I am going to bed."

Maria proceeded to get up, only to have Tony catch her by the hand. He pulled her close, and gave her a kiss.

"You can't get away that easy," Tony whispered, his lips only slightly pulled apart from Maria's. "I love you."

"I love you too."

They exchanged a kiss once again before Maria got up. She opened the door slightly, giving Tony a final smile before going inside. Once she was gone, Tony picked his pack of cigarettes up from the ground. The little cardboard box in his hands was part of the life he'd been trying so hard to erase. The life he once thought was the best life; a life full of fun and action. A life full of hatred and death. With that thought, Tony hurled the carton of cigarettes across the motel parking lot, finally ridding himself of the last binding thread that kept him sewn to the city.


	3. Side by Side

Yes, I updated with not only one, but two new chapters this week. Why? Because I'm so happy to have the same three loyal reviewers for two straight weeks! Speaking of my loyal reviewers, broken-paige: the end of chapter four has what you have been longing to read ;). I hope everyone enjoys this double-dip update, because it probably won't happen again.

As far as this chapter is concerned: part of it harkens back to the work that which this is based off of; kudos if you pick up on it. Chapter four will be here tomorrow for your reading pleasure.

Many thanks to my reviewers Penny L. Pingleton, broken-paige, and Iwait4theRain; you guys rock!

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><p><strong>You and me will be lying side by side; f<strong>**orever, forever**

**Underneath this adolescent sky; ****together, together**

**And you will hold my heart inside your hand**

**And you'll be the one to tell me **

**Oh we've got a long, long way to go ****to get there, we'll get there**

**But oh, if there's one thing that we know, i****t's that we will not grow old**

**~"We Will Not Grow Old" by Lenka**

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><p>By mid-July, the city was nothing more than a faded picture in Tony's mind; and to Maria, it was a short-lived spark on a candle. In fact, neither of them mentioned much about the place. They were content in paving a life for them and them alone, and they wished to have a life not marked up with pain from the past. They found jobs, began looking for a more sturdy place to live, and even began discussing marriage; all things that made that somewhere more realistic, and not just a dream.<p>

Maria pondered these changes one afternoon. She was still settling into her new job repairing clothing at a dry cleaners, and although the other girl she shared shifts with was no Anita, the job was decent. The only other person around was Mrs. O' Neil, the woman who dealt with customers and who believed Maria couldn't understand her. As Maria threaded a needle, Mrs. O' Neil placed a dress in front of her.

"The lady says there's a tear in the seam," Mrs. O' Neil yelled as if Maria was deaf, "and she says it's a bit snug around the top and wants it taken out two inches. Can you do that?"

Maria nodded. "Yes."

"Good," Mrs. O'Neil yelled in her exaggerated voice once again. Maria simply nodded and returned to her work.

Mrs. O'Neil returned to the front counter, and soon, Maria heard the radio softly playing. As she began sewing a button onto the blouse in her hands, her mind drifted to thoughts of Anita, and the other friends she left behind. She thought of the afternoons they spent together at Madam Lucia's, talking and laughing about a range of subjects. Then Maria would help Anita at closing time and the two of them would walk home, and sometimes, if Anita and Bernardo didn't have plans, Anita would sit with Maria on the roof of their tenement building. There, they would sit on the ledge and while they would watch the traffic below, both would share thoughts and feelings of all sorts.

It was one of those nights on the roof Maria had confided in Anita that she had no desire to pursue a relationship with Chino. Anita's mouth had dropped open, she may of even laughed a bit if Maria recalled correctly. Anita had told her to give him time; she had admitted that she didn't particularly care for Bernardo at first either. And Maria remembered that she briefly tried to take Anita's words to heart, but she just couldn't. Maria told herself it wasn't her fault, or Chino's; the heart sometimes knows better than the head, and as far as she and Chino went, the heart had outsmarted the brain.

A knock at the door snapped Maria out of her thoughts. She smiled, because she knew exactly who it was.

"It is open," she softly said, so Mrs. O' Neil wouldn't hear. In a matter of seconds, the door opened up and Tony stepped inside. He walked towards Maria's sewing table and after dropping a kiss to her lips, sat himself on the edge of the table.

"Why do we have to whisper?"

"Because; if Mrs. O' Neil knew that you came to see me everyday, she would not be too happy."

Tony ran his palms over his pants. "We left the city so we didn't have to meet in secret, now I have to meet you in secret again."

Maria smiled at Tony as she got up from her table. She grabbed a hanger and hung the blouse on the rack meant for repaired clothing. Tony watched Maria as she filled out the small tag tied to the hanger.

"This is what you do all day? Just sit back here and sew?" Tony asked.

"Yes," Maria said as she sat down again. She pulled the dress towards her that Mrs. O' Neil had given her and inspected the torn seam. After rethreading her needle, Maria returned to her sewing.

"Maria I promise that starting the day we're married, you'll never have to work again."

"It is not that bad."

"Not that bad? Maria, you get paid to sew buttons onto shirts; it can't be all that exciting."

Maria looked up at Tony and smiled again. "Then why do we not just get married today?"

"Funny." Tony leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Maria's. "I told you; I think it would be best to hold off on that until we have things sorted out better."

Maria felt a small lump forming in the back of her throat. Due to something that had happened - or rather, due to something that had _not _happened - Maria was beginning to think getting married now wouldn't be a bad thing.

"But, if something were to…come up, we would get married now, yes?"

Tony gave Maria a quizzical look. "Something like what?"

"I…I," Maria paused, a smile coming across her face before she kissed Tony once again. "I guess I am just worrying too much."

"Yeah, you are. It's just you and me now; there's nothing to keep us apart," Tony said as he pulled Maria into a tight embrace. "We have plenty of time to get there."

Maria let her arms wrap around Tony, and as she eyed her sewing table, she thought back to that day he came to see her at the bridal shop; that day seemed so long ago now.

"Maria! Do you have the Williams' repairs done?" Mrs. O' Neil yelled from the front. Tony jumped up from the table and headed for the door.

"Yes," Maria called as she made her way to the rack of finished clothes. After quickly reading several tags, she gathered an armful of clothing. "Tony?"

Tony paused in the open doorway. "Yeah?"

"I love you."

Tony backtracked to where Maria stood and dropped a kiss to her forehead.

"I love you too."

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><p>Maria stared at her reflection in the mirror one evening. She didn't feel like herself; she hadn't for the past month. She felt tired all the time no matter how much sleep she got and there were times that she felt like crying for no reason whatsoever. And then, there was the thing that had been absent from her life last month. <em>It was only one time, <em>Maria thought. _Surely I could not be…_

"Maria, you okay?"

"Uh, yes."

Before turning off the light, Maria looked in the mirror again, and pressed her hand to her stomach. She couldn't even fathom being...no, she didn't even want to think about _that _at the moment. She and Tony barely had their own plans figured out; adding another person to mix would make matters only harder.

"Hey, come here; I want to show you something," Tony said as Maria stepped out of the bathroom. She slowly sat down on the edge of the bed and peered over the sea of newspapers surrounding Tony. Some of them had red circles drawn on them, like they were mapping something out.

"What are all of these?"

Tony drew another red circle before looking up at Maria. "_These _are all ads for places for rent."

"Oh." Maria smiled and took the pen from Tony's hand. "What happened to sorting things out better?"

"It's not the same thing."

"Yes it is!"

Tony placed the newspapers on the wobbly bedside table, realizing he wasn't going to get much done now. "It is _not_ the same thing."

"Tony you sound like a child," Maria said with an impish grin. Tony smiled as well, picked up a pillow, and lightly hit Maria across the arm with it.

"And now you are _acting_ like a child."

"Oh am I?"

Tony hit Maria with the pillow once again. She grinned, picked the other pillow up, and followed Tony's lead.

"Oh, who's the child now?"

"_I _am not the one who started it," Maria reminded Tony. She moved from the foot of the bed and sat face to face with Tony. She gently tapped him on the face with her pillow.

"Yeah," he replied before doing the same to Maria. "But you hit me too, so I guess we're even."

Maria leaned forward and brought her lips to Tony's. "Now we are not even."

"Sure we are," Tony said before pulling Maria towards him, and making the imaginary tally between them level once again. Maria pressed her face into his shirt and let the soft cotton tickle her nose. For a while, they remained motionless and listened to the sound of each other's beating hearts. As time passed, the beats became synonymous with each other; hearing that internal beat that mirrored her own gave Maria a sense of comfort.

Likewise, Tony couldn't recall a time he had felt this close to someone - especially someone whom he'd met just a month ago.

"I hope we never lose this," Maria whispered.

"We won't, don't worry; nothing could ever make me leave."

Maria pulled away from Tony, her mind sailing back to where it was before she came out of the bathroom. "Noth…nothing?"

"Of course. Maria, I don't think that there's anything, no matter how big, that would make me leave you. I love you."

"And you will mean this always? No matter what?"

"Yeah," Tony said as he ran finger over the side of Maria's face. "Maria, what is this all about?"

"Nothing, it is nothing, really," she reassured him. She rested her head against Tony's shoulder and began tracing her fingers over his own. Maria knew that she couldn't keep this up for long, but she also didn't see a need to worry Tony with something that might not even be true. Either way, Maria knew what she needed most of all: an answer.


	4. It Could Happen to Me

Double update all the way across the sky! Anyone get the reference? For those of you who watch _Bones_: OMG! WELCOME TO THE WORLD LITTLE MICHAEL STACCATO VINCENT HODGENS! AND AAAAHHHHH! BONES IS HAVING BOOTH'S CHILD! *very drawn out fangirl squeal* Also, some people seem to believe the world is ending tomorrow...and that a zombie apocalypse is going to take place...yeaaahh..._I _think the dawning of the age of Aquarius is just coming, but hey, what do I know?

Later on this chapter contains my attempt at a scene of _la amor. _I hope it's good; after all, I was voted "Most Likely to Become A Romance Novelist" by my buddies from stage crew. And if that kind of stuff bothers you, I'm sorry; this is why this story has a 'T' rating. Well, hope I make you proud broken-paige. Many thanks to the three musketeers who took the time to review the last chapter!

As of August 31, 2011 this chapter has been tweaked a tad.

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><p><strong>She got the call today, one out of the gray<strong>

**And when the smoke cleared, it took her breath away**

**She said she didn't believe it could happen to me**

**I guess we're all one phone call from our knees**

**If every building falls and all the stars fade**

**We'll still be singing this song, the one they can't take away**

**~"Closer to Love" by Mat Kearney**

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><p>It was all in her head, Maria told herself; all of it. She was just tired, and needed to empty her mind of all its nerve-racking thoughts. Maria inhaled a deep breath and continued with the work set in front of her. As she slowly threaded a needle, she caught herself listening to Mrs. O'Neil's telephone conversation. It was hard for Maria <em>not<em> to hear, as she was slowly learning it wasn't just her that Mrs. O'Neil spoke loudly to.

When Maria heard the phone slam down, Mrs. O' Neil came into the backroom and leaned against the door frame.

"Maria, _never _have kids; they'll just grow up and cause you to worry."

Maria made no notion that she had heard the older woman, but that didn't deter Mrs. O' Neil's laments.

"I gave that boy _everything _in life and he calls me asking for money because he gambled it all away. Well, you know what I did? I told him no! No, I'm…" Mrs. O' Neil paused briefly, eyeing the girl seated in front of her. "You okay?"

Maria quickly snapped her head up nodded. "Yes. I am just a little tired."

"You look kind of tired; you feeling okay?"

"Yes; I am fine."

The open window carried in a cool breeze, bringing comfort to Maria's warm face. She simply smiled at Mrs. O' Neil, convincing her that she was indeed fine. Mrs. O' Neil returned the gesture before she spoke.

"I need you to finish what Eleanor didn't from this morning; God, that girl is about as helpful as a three-legged dog in a sled race, but I'd feel awful if I let her go."

As Maria snipped a thread, she looked up. "Why?"

"She's never told you?" Mrs. O' Neil asked a bit surprised. "She's got a baby at home. And his daddy isn't around so…things are hard for them both."

Maria inhaled a shaky breath, suddenly having those thoughts flood her mind again. "No, she never told me about that."

"Well, I don't blame her; it's not really something she or her parents like to advertise. This is a small town and no one hardly ever leaves; needless to say, word travels fast. Especially word of _that_ kind."

"Oh, well, I will not tell anyone."

"I didn't think you would Maria," Mrs. O' Neil said with a smile. She looked as if she might add something, but the phone rang again before she was able. Maria pushed her work away for a moment, and replayed all the information she was just given. If she was actually…it would be different. She wasn't alone like Eleanor; she had Tony.

* * *

><p>"We need to get better curtains for these windows," Tony said that night. He gazed out the window and into the motel parking lot. Lights from the glowing sign and neighboring rooms converged into a blur on the floor, making it hard to distinguish which light came from where. "It's kinda creepy having curtains this thin."<p>

Maria faintly smiled as she watched Tony move away from the window and sit at the foot of the bed. Her eyes then traced the bare room that was lacking of any sense of home. The white walls, the wobbly bedside table with only a lamp and a clock on it, and the small television that worked only on rare occasions. Nothing about the room was permanent; it was all so transitory. And right now, that was the _last_ thing that Maria wanted to be bothered by. As Tony began unbuttoning his shirt, he glanced over his shoulder.

"Hey, a Dr. Harris called for you earlier this evening. I told him that you couldn't come to phone, so he wanted me to remind you about your appointment tomorrow."

Maria gulped. "Yes, I know."

"You okay?"

"I called him on Monday; I just have not felt well the past few days."

Tony eyed Maria, sensing that there was an ulterior motive for her doctor's appointment, but he didn't press the issue.

"Well, just as long as it's nothing serious," Tony said as he kicked off his shoes. He then crawled from the foot of the bed and into his spot next to Maria. He softly pressed his lips against her forehead and whispered, "Because if it was something serious, I don't know what I'd do without you."

At that, Tony turned off the bedside lamp. Before falling asleep, he looked at Maria.

"What?" she asked.

Tony smiled. "Nothing. It's nice; just you and me and there not being anything else to worry about."

Maria weakly returned the smile. "Yes. It is nice."

After Tony turned over onto his side, Maria gazed up at the ceiling. She told herself that she would be okay, no matter what she found out at the doctor's.

* * *

><p>"Now, I won't be able to tell you anything until next week; is that okay?"<p>

Maria glanced up at the doctor. She nodded. "Yes."

"Good. I wish I could tell you sooner, but these things take time."

"It is fine; I understand." Maria paused as the doctor scribbled some notes down. "Can, can you not call this time? I will not forget to come in. I promise."

The doctor eyed the girl seated in front of him. He understood; he'd seen other girls her age come into his office to know that they liked to keep things like this to themselves at first.

"Sure; I won't call." The doctor got up from his chair and opened the door, motioning for Maria to leave first. "Have a good rest of the day; see you next week."

Maria gave the doctor a nervous smile; clearly he'd seen patients like her before. "Yes, I will. Thank you."

**~.~**

Maria sat anxiously in the doctor's office, waiting for him to come back with his news. The week seemed to pass so slow, and now she just wanted to relieve herself of her nerves. The cold, sterile room with unwelcoming drab walls only heightened her apprehension; the paper mat under her wasn't helping either.

Anytime Maria heard footsteps or voices, she hoped it was the doctor returning with her test results - but Maria had a hunch she knew what was coming, she just didn't want to have to face that reality. When the doctor finally came back, he was wearing a half smile.

"So?"

The doctor took a seat before answering her. "It's a positive; you're two months pregnant."

The doctor watched as the young girl's face paled. He took one of her hands, for reassurance and because it looked like she was about to faint.

"Maria, you're going to fine, okay? The baby will be perfectly healthy just as long as you make regular appointments."

Maria nodded but dared not to look the doctor in the eyes. As the doctor removed a small date book and pen from his pocket, Maria clasped her hands to her stomach. She longed to have Anita here with her. Anita would know what to do. She would tell Maria that everything would be fine, and that this is nothing to fret about; Anita would tell her that she should be happy.

"Maria?"

Maria snapped out of her thoughts and looked at the doctor. "Yes?" she asked, her voice a bit shaky.

"Is September twenty-fifth good for you?"

"Yes; that should be fine."

"Good. Now, the months ahead are very important for…"

The doctor continued to spill out information about things that Maria didn't understand. A baby, she thought. A baby when she was so young. A baby when she and Tony were only starting to forge a new life for themselves. A baby to be called…_theirs_; this child was going to be one of the few things that they would have to call theirs.

When she and Tony had sat in that bus station a few months ago, Maria had said herself that she believed things happen for a reason. This child _must _of happened for a reason. Why else would Maria no longer feel worried about the news she a short while ago was afraid of? For Maria knew that things would be fine - just like Tony had told her they would that night after the rumble. Yes, the doctor was right; she _was _going to be fine.

* * *

><p>"How did your doctor's appointment go?"<p>

Maria looked at Tony. As he folded his shirt over the television stand, Maria pondered how she wanted to go about telling him her news.

"Fine. He said that there is nothing wrong." At least what she said was somewhat true; there wasn't anything wrong with her after all.

Tony joined Maria at the foot of the bed. "That's good; glad to know that you're not sick."

Maria remained silent, and brought a hand to Tony's cheek. Their eyes met and Tony leaned forward to brush his lips against Maria's. He repeated this step, making Maria temporarily forget about what she needed to tell him. She brought her hands to his shoulders, and soon found herself wrapping her arms around his neck. Each time they would break apart before exchanging a new kiss, Maria would try to urge herself to say something, but she couldn't; the words just wouldn't come - she preferred to occupy her lips with a sweeter task.

When each kiss began to run into the next, Tony gently pushed Maria down onto the bed and wrapped his arms around her waist. As he began trailing down her neck with kisses, Maria knew she had to soon say something about what really happened at her doctor's appointment. Still, there was part of her that wanted to not think about that. Maria was about to speak up, and put an end to this oh so lovely distraction, but Tony brought his lips back to her's again, leaving her literally speechless. Maria knew she had to say _something, _even though it was becoming more and more difficult to peel her lips from Tony's. It was when Tony began to sweep his lips across her shoulders, that fact suddenly didn't exist anymore. Suddenly, Maria was back in that soft and hazy June night.

The cool sheets that were beneath her had become rumpled, their folds resembling the ebb and flow of ocean waves. Tony returned to mapping out imaginary lines on Maria's neck, and when she felt the sensation of Tony's hands sliding from her waist to her legs, she made no effort to deter him. Maria shuddered as he swiftly ran his fingers up and down her legs, giving her the same feeling soft grass does on your bare feet. He then slowed the motion of his fingers, and began moving them in the same fluid way a harpist strokes the strings of their instrument. Maria, a bit surprised in spite of herself, soon found her hands guiding Tony's hands to the hem of her dress. Tony obliged, and after he gently pulled the garment over her head, it fell to the floor like the petal of a flower: quietly and unnoticed.

Tony moved his hands back to Maria's waist, and their lips met in a soft embrace once again. As he played with the dainty lace of Maria's slip, he wondered what he had done to deserve someone as wonderful as Maria. Tony knew he had made some bad choices in his life; then Maria came along, and the world seemed a bit brighter. Even after what had happened that June night under the highway, she still chose to love him. This thought made Tony realize how lucky was.

"I love you," he whispered into Maria's ear, causing her shudder once again. Tony brought his hands to the straps of Maria's slip, and after taking his time, slid them away from her shoulders. He then let his hands travel down her arms and rested them on her wrists. He held her wrists as if he was holding the most finest of china, savoring the delicate beauty by allowing his fingers to ponder over their feminine structure.

"I love you too," she replied. Tony began tracing her collarbone with his lips, prompting Maria to move her hands downwards. She rested them on Tony's belt, pausing before going through the motions that were about to make her and Tony become even closer.

The moments passed, and pretty soon, Maria was far-off in a place where her news, and the responsibility that came with it, didn't exist.

* * *

><p>The following morning, Maria awoke to the sun's rays creeping through the open window. A breeze was blowing, making the curtains flutter like the wings of a butterfly. What time it was, she wasn't sure, but she knew it had to be pretty late in the morning. The man staying next door was out on the cement patio, strumming away on his guitar and angrily cursing under his breath when he struck a sour note.<p>

Tony's arms were securely wrapped around her, holding on to the events of last night. Last night. Last night...Maria's mind was suddenly shaken back to what she had originally intended to tell Tony last night. Maria tried to sit up to read the clock on the nightstand, but the only thing she succeeded in doing was waking Tony.

"You're not trying to run away from me, are you?" he said in a raspy voice only heard in the morning. The window behind Maria cast a glow across her, illuminating every angle of her face.

Maria faintly smiled. "No."

Tony pressed his lips to her forehead. He cocked his head to the side and listened to the guitar chords and riffs floating into the room.

"God, that guy is out there every morning; he must really want that Sarah girl to forgive him."

Almost as if on cue, the man began to sing the chorus of "Sarah, you're my morning star, my blue skies; I'm sorry I was a lousy guy" that seemed to the only bar of the song he had done. Tony shook his head as he sat up.

"I kinda feel bad for the guy." He then glanced at the clock before turning back to Maria. "How about you and I go into town and get some breakfast?"

Maria slowly sat up too, and as she pulled the crinkled sheets up around her, shrugged. "I guess."

Tony let his eyes rest on her for a moment. He watched as Maria nervously began playing with her hands.

"Maria, are you sure that you're okay?"

"Yes, I am fine."

"You sure? I mean...you just...you haven't really seemed like yourself lately." Tony took note of Maria's eyes that suddenly took a great interest in the floor. "Everything _was _okay at the doctor's yesterday, right?"

Maria sighed. She took Tony's hands in hers, and let her words flow freely. "I am pregnant."

Maria felt Tony's hands go numb, and watched his eyes drift to the window. For a moment, he stayed quiet and let his mind process what Maria had just told him.

"You're...you..." He turned back to Maria, whose expression hadn't changed in the slightest. "Oh...God; Maria, this is all my fault."

"No; no Tony do not say that."

Tony gave Maria a helpless look; they weren't ready for something like this. The money Doc had given them had been used up, and neither Tony nor Maria made enough money to raise a child. Tony also wasn't slow to admit that the thought of being responsible for another person scared him. As Tony prepared to ask his next question, he had a feeling he knew how Maria was going to respond.

"Well...do you want to, you know, keep it?"

"Tony how could you even think that?" Maria paused, her eyes looking downwards. "I know that this unexpected, but I would _never_ think of doing..._that_."

"Sorry; it's just…this is a lot to take in."

A _baby, _Tony thought. Having kids was one of those things that just a few months ago, seemed so foreign to him. Why, Tony was still a teenager himself; and Maria…Maria was younger than him.

"We should be happy," Maria said. She glanced at Tony, wishing that he would say something to break the uncomfortable air forming in the room. "Tony? Please say something."

"When's the baby due?"

"March." Maria wrapped an arm around Tony's shoulder. "We will be fine," she paused, "all _three_ of us will be fine."


	5. You Never Really Knew

Some notes for this chapter: I am very much aware that in most Latin American countries (i.e. Puerto Rico), that Catholicism is the main religion of practice; this note will (maybe) make sense as you venture onward. Just keep in mind the circumstances surrounding this chapter. Second note, the amount for rent mentioned later on is completely accurate for the 1950's; I did my research. ;) I also edited this chapter while listening to "I Am the Walrus" on repeat, so if things seem out of wack blame the Magical Mystery Tour.

My reviewers receive many thank yous; you guys make my day with your words of kindness!

* * *

><p><strong>They tell us slow down<strong>

**We're too young, you need to grow**

**The speed's the key**

**And they don't know who we are**

**And you say we're too young but maybe you're too old to remember**

**And I try to pretend but I just feel it when we're together**

**And if you don't believe me, you never really knew us**

**You never really knew**

**~"Who's to Say" by Vanessa Carlton**

* * *

><p>Tony slowly pushed the doors to the church open. When he saw the look on Maria's face, he gave her hand a little tug.<p>

"Maria come on." He smiled slightly; whether the smile was for Maria's encouragement or his own, Tony wasn't quite sure. "It'll be fine."

Maria sighed before following Tony inside. They came into a small hallway; the left led to the sanctuary, where the muffled sound of organ music could be heard, and the right led to another long hallway. For a brief moment, the pair remained still, as if they were gathering their thoughts.

"Maria whatever happens today, I still love you," Tony said as he stared ahead. More than anything, he wanted - no, he _needed_ things to work out in his and Maria's favor. For it wasn't just Maria Tony had to think about now; he had another person, no matter how small, to take into consideration.

"I know," Maria replied. She quickly turned her head towards Tony. "But I hope that good things happen."

Tony brought his lips to Maria's, and when they parted, he gazed down at her. "Me too."

As they turned to the left, the sound of notes being pounded out on an organ could be heard more clearly. Tony cleared his throat in an attempt to be heard over the music. The music stopped, and the woman playing quickly turned around. She looked a little surprised to see she had an audience.

"Hello. Can I help you with something?"

"Uh, do you know a," Tony pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and read the name scrawled across it, "A Pastor Steve Carter?"

As the woman adjusted her music, she spoke. "I should; been married to him for twenty-five years." The woman got up from the organ and headed towards Tony and Maria. "Follow me."

Tony practically had to drag Maria to the door the woman led them to. The woman lightly tapped on the door.

"Come in," a voice called from the other side. The woman turned the knob and motioned for Tony and Maria to step inside first. After she closed the door behind her, she looked at the man seated at the desk.

"Steve, you got some visitors."

A middle-aged man looked up from a pile of papers and gave his wife and the visitors she brought with her a smile.

"Well, I'm pretty sure the two of you aren't the couple who needs marriage counseling."

Tony managed a small laugh before speaking.

"No. Um, actually I, I mean _we,_" he said, indicating Maria, "we were wondering if maybe, possibly, we could…"

"Steve, I'm going to go finish practicing for Sunday." The pastor's wife left, thinking that her presence was making the boy nervous. She closed the door quietly, leaving the trio alone in the small office.

"Please, sit down," Pastor Carter said as he motioned to the chairs in front of his desk. "Now, what can I do for you two?"

"We want to get married," Tony blurted out. He bit his lip, internally cursing himself for being so eager. He recalled Riff once telling him showing too much excitement during a fight is about the worst thing you could do; it just gives the other side all the more reasons to beat you, and your spirits, down.

"Married?" Pastor Carter raised an eyebrow. The only time people this young came asking to be married was when…he glanced at the silent young girl seated in front of him. He noted her hands that were strategically placed on her stomach, like she was trying to hide something. "I see. Have you talked this over with your parents?"

"Not exactly," Tony mumbled. "We ran away."

"Oh," Pastor Carter said as he adjusted his glasses. He didn't know what else to say; he figured if they ran away, what their parents thought about this didn't matter to them anyway. "And you feel that this is what's right?"

"Yes," Tony replied, a bit irritated that a complete stranger was questioning him on something this important. Something this permanent.

"And what do you think?" Pastor Carter asked Maria. "Do _you _feel this is right?"

Maria, wide-eyed and scared, lifted her gaze from the floor. "Yes, I do."

Maria felt Tony tighten the grip he had on her hand; it was a silent way of telling her that everything would work out in their favor - no matter what. For a moment, Pastor Carter stared at the pair, as if he was trying to read their thoughts, their feelings, and their pasts.

"You realize that marriage is not only a wonderful thing, but a commitment as well," Pastor Carter said, implying his main concern in his next statement, "and that this decision must be right for _all _of you?"

At that statement, Maria felt as though tiny pins were being driven under her fingernails; a small, yet effective, way to create pain.

"We do; if we didn't do think we would of…" Tony trailed off, feeling as if he was seated in a sinking boat. It was too obvious now; Pastor Carter was going to tell them no, and if he said no, the answer would be the same from everyone.

"You don't know," Tony said just barely audible.

"Excuse me?"

Tony swallowed, and after giving Maria a loving look, turned to Pastor Carter. "You don't know Maria or me; who are you to say that we don't love each other and that the only reason we're doing this is because…"

"Tony please," Maria said in a voice just above a whisper. It was all she could do not to cry. _This is not how things were supposed to be, _Maria thought. _Things were supposed to be easy, and better, and...we were supposed to be able to be together. _She looked at the mantle above Pastor Carter's desk. In the center of a collection of Bibles sat a picture of a young man and woman with their arms securely around each other.

"Is that you?" Maria asked Pastor Carter, indicating the picture. Tony cast a look on Maria, surprised she had spoken up without having to be asked.

"Yes, it is."

"And you loved each other, yes?"

"Of course."

"And you still love each other?"

"Yes, of course we do."

"So then why do you not believe us, when we say that we love each other now," Maria said, glancing at Tony as she continued, "and that we will _always_ love each other?"

Pastor Carter was taken aback by Maria's statement. She had the wide eyes of a child, but yet spoke with the words of an adult. The older man adjusted his glasses once again; he was still on the fence about saying yes. Part of his job was to council couples contemplating marriage; he never liked to marry people who seemed to be rushing into things.

Sure, he'd done his share of shotgun weddings - but most of those had been urged by the girl's parents. But the young couple seated in front of him now came to him at their own will; they truly _wanted _to get married; not because of the curveball life had thrown at them, but because they truly loved each other.

The grip Tony had on Maria's hand was turning her knuckles white, the silence was making them nervous. And when Pastor Carter rested his folded hands on his desk, their fears were only heightened.

"It is clear that you both love each other…which is why it would be heartless of me to not marry you."

Tony and Maria exchanged a look before gazing up at Pastor Carter. He smiled at the speechless young couple.

"Now, even though I'll marry you, I still want the two of you to have time to…think about things."

"Yes, of course," Tony said. He and Maria started to get up from their chairs. Before leaving, Maria slowly approached the desk.

"Thank you."

Pastor Carter smiled. "You're welcome."

* * *

><p>"Tony, where are we going?"<p>

"You'll see; just be patient."

After leaving the church, Tony led Maria to the lower end of town. When they finally stopped in front of a house with a "For Rent" sign in the yard, Tony removed a key from his pocket.

"Surprise."

"Do you mean you…"

"Well, actually all I have is the key. The lady who owns the place gave it to me and said I could show you around first. Here."

Tony took Maria's hand and led her up the porch. As Tony turned the key, he spoke. "The land lady lives on the other side. She said she hasn't had anyone living on this side in a long time."

Maria nodded, and when Tony finally had the door open, she followed him inside. She looked around at the tiny living room, that at one time, seemed to have floral wallpaper covering the walls. Some mismatched furniture draped in dusty sheets sat in a lump in the center of the room, and a faded oil painting of a seaside scene hung on the wall. Those things, and a stack of mildewed books in the corner, were the only clues that someone had called this place home at one time. Home, Maria thought. She had called so many different places "home" recently, that it was comforting to think that perhaps she and Tony had found a place to assuredly call home; for themselves, and for the tiny life arriving later.

Tony ran his finger over the dusty windowsill, stirring up the particles like a dust cloud seen in one of those Western movies. "I know that the place looks kinda…bad now, but just look past all of that."

Maria walked towards Tony and rested her hands on his shoulders. "Of course. Besides, _anything _is better than that motel."

Tony smiled. Through the translucent curtains in the window, he saw a woman walking onto the porch.

"Carol, this is Maria. I came to show her around today," Tony said as the woman stepped inside. Her eyes fell onto Maria, and then went to Tony, as if she was trying to make sense of the pair in front of her. Carol was never one who liked things that ventured away from the norm, nor did she have the patience to try and learn about others. She was a business-minded woman who relied on the monthly rent. Petty things like "this why the rent is late" sob stories, or taking the time to get to know someone internally were stupid and a waste of time to Carol. Still, she forced a smile.

"Hello Maria."

"Hello."

Carol's ears were unaccustomed to Maria's accent laced words. "I assume that your…boyfriend here has showed you around."

Maria looked up at Tony, who had a somewhat annoyed expression on his face. "Yeah I have."

Carol inspected a loose floorboard, and stepped on it with her foot causing it to creak. "You can move in whenever; not like anyone is lining up to live here." She looked up at the pair once again. _They're just kids, _she thought. _Why am I renting this place out to two young kids? They probably just got married; no, they're probably not even married. God, now I'm going to have to listen to arguments at all hours of the night. _

"Listen, I'm glad to be renting this place out, but if I _**ever**_ here a peep of arguing out of the two of you, or if the rent is late, you're out of here."

Maria moved closer to Tony. He placed an arm around her before speaking. "Of course."

Carol gave the couple a suspicious look again. Before leaving she pointed at Tony. "When you move in, I expect the first month's rent; ninety dollars."

Tony nodded and after Carol had left, he looked at Maria. "Don't worry; the second we have enough money for our own place we'll be out of here."

"Oh, she does not seem that bad."

"Yeah, and a lion is only a little bit dangerous."

"Oh, you," Maria said as she gave Tony a playful shove towards the furniture. Tony stumbled over a box, spilling a collection of ceramic gnomes onto the floor. He picked one up, and held it out to Maria. "Wonder why these got left behind."

Maria laughed as she took another look around the living room. The late afternoon sun was seeping through the windows, casting the shadows of tree limbs up the wall. The sun rays brought a feeling of warmth to Maria; it was the kind of feeling one gets when they are safely inside during a rainstorm: a sense of comfort knowing that you are inside _your_ house, and nothing can get to you.

"It will be nice living here," she said.

Tony smiled. "Yeah. Hey, I didn't finish showing you around."

As Tony took Maria by the hand, she smiled to herself. Things were starting to fall into place; slowly, but they were certainly getting there.

* * *

><p>That evening, Tony sat outside. With his back rested against the wall, he closed his eyes and took in the peace of the early evening. When he heard a door clamor open, he glanced over his shoulder, expecting to see Maria.<p>

"Boy, sure wish I got that reaction from _women_ when I came into a room."

It was the guitar playing man from next door. He took a swig from the bottle of beer in his hand and motioned over his shoulder. "Got more in there if ya want one."

Tony shook his head. "I don't drink."

"Suit yourself," the man said as he sat down next to Tony. He held a worn hand out to Tony; his fingertips were calloused due to the constant strumming of guitar strings. "Name's Bud."

"Tony."

Bud sat his beer down, reached into his pocket and removed a pack of cigarettes. After lighting one with a match he pulled from his sleeve, Bud spoke.

"So Tony, why ya here?"

Tony rubbed his palms over his pants. "Uh, I'm trying to start things over."

"I hear ya; lemme guess, ya fucked things up with a girl and she got rid of ya?" Bud asked before taking a long drag of his cigarette. Tony began tapping his fingers on the cement to distract himself from the stale smell of cigarette smoke.

Starting things over was putting lightly. Tony wished he was able to tell someone one of the other reasons why he and Maria left the city. But Tony knew he could never tell anyone what had happened that night; the death that had been at his hands would be the secret Tony would take to his grave, and if he was one of those big shot Hollywood stars, it'd be the scandal of the year. Bud took another puff of his cigarette and started to rattle off again.

"Well, then did ya knock off a store or somethin'? Cuz if ya got stolen..."

"Not exactly," Tony cut Bud off. "See, I met this girl, but no one really wanted us to be together. And then I...I did something _horrible. _So, me and this girl ran away because it was the only way we could be with each other."

Bud took this in and said, "What's wrong with this girl ya met? Did yer friends tell ya she was real ugly or somethin'? Cuz lemme tell ya Tony, it's the ugly ones that are real good in..."

"Tony?"

Both Bud and Tony turned around. When Bud laid eyes on the young girl by the door, he now understood.

"Yeah Maria?"

Maria stepped forward the slightest, shyly smiling at Bud. "Hello. Tony, I just wanted to tell you that I am done in the shower."

"Okay, thanks. I'll be in a bit."

Maria nodded and quietly slipped back inside. Once she was gone, Bud turned to Tony.

"That's what yer friends thought what was wrong with yer girl? Cuz she talks different and is a little tanner then the rest of us?"

Tony shrugged. "I guess."

Bud took a drink of his beer, and after taking another drag if his cigarette, turned to Tony. "That girl I'm always singin' about, my friends didn't like her. She and I was gonna get married, but I let my friends talk me out of it. They told me I was young, and didn't need ta be tied down by a wife. Before I knew it, I and Sarah was done, and instead of havin' a good wife, a house, and maybe even some kids, I got motel rooms and one-night stands. What I'm sayin' is, Tony, don't ever let people tell ya love is somethin' ya can't have cuz yer young; anyone can know love."

"Thanks," Tony said as he cracked a smile. Bud exhaled a puff of smoke and looked at Tony.

"Now, stop talkin' ta me and get in there and talk ta that girl a yers."

Tony got up and before going inside, watched Bud for a moment. With his free hand, he tapped out a rhythm on his leg and then fingerd imaginary chords only he could hear. But perhaps Bud believed his Sarah could hear them too, wherever she was. Tony was glad he didn't have to wonder about Maria; she was just beyond the door behind him. She would always be near; from now, until forever.

"Night Tony," Bud called.

"Night Bud."

When Tony stepped inside, he found Maria seated cross-legged on the bed. In front of her was a book that had been left behind on the televison stand. Tony watched as she flipped through the yellowed pages, carefully looking over the words. Maria reminded Tony of a child, her eyes wide and totally focused on getting through the jumble of ink in front of her.

"What are you reading there?" he asked as he took a seat next to her.

Maria looked up. "Oh, I am not really reading it; I knocked it off the table."

"Well, it _seemed _like you were reading it."

Maria smiled. "Only because the two people in this book are like us; no one wants them to be together."

"Oh, I see."

"But, I am pretty sure they end up happy." Maria paused and joined her hands with Tony's. "Just like you and me, too"

Tony pulled his eyes away from Maria and read the front cover of the book: _Pride and Prejudice._ He'd never read it, but he liked to think Maria had the ending correct. In one motion, Tony pulled Maria into an embrace and kissed the top of her head.

"I bet they end up happy too."


	6. A Good Place to Begin

You will gather from this chapter that I, lovelylittleflowerchild,_ love _weddings. And Iwait4theRain: please erase our side AU adventures from last weekend as you read this chapter! :P In other news, I've been reliving my elementary school days by watching _Lizzie McGuire _and _The Powerpuff Girls_ on YouTube, and listening to "The Hamster Dance Song". Oh how I miss those days!

Thank you broken-paige, Iwait4theRain, and Penny L. Pingleton for the reviews! Also, thank you to twihardfanpire24 and thepurplefruit for adding my story to your favorites/alert list; any bit of praise is highly loved.

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><p><strong>Well "I do" are the two most famous last words; t<strong>**he beginning of the end**

**But to lose your life for another I've heard i****s a good place to begin**

**'Cause the only way to find your life ****is to lay your own life down**

**And I believe it's an easy price ****for the life that we have found**

**~"Dancing In the Minefields" by Andrew Peterson**

* * *

><p>Pastor Carter glanced down at his watch; <em>fifteen minutes late, <em>he thought. _Not a good way to start things off. _But soon, he heard the sound of the door opening; Tony and Maria hurried into the church, water running off of them and collecting in puddles on the floor. They exchanged a glance with each other, smiling, perhaps even laughing, about being late for what is supposed to be the most important day of one's life.

Pastor Carter had to smile a bit too; the sight of the pair in rain-dampened clothing reminded him of just how young they were. Any other bride-to-be would of cried over getting rained on, but Maria didn't mind. In fact, she seemed to welcome the rain and the new awakenings it brought. As she removed Tony's jacket that had been wrapped around her shoulders, Tony glanced up at Pastor Carter.

"Sorry we're late," Tony said as he shook off an umbrella. "We don't have a car or anything, so we had to walk; the rain slowed us down."

"It's fine, really," Pastor Carter assured him. His wife was seated in the front pew; she winked at her husband.

Maria smoothed out her wet hair and glanced around the low lit church. The rainy weather outside blurred the stained glass windows, reflecting muted color onto the floor. The weather was less than ideal for a wedding, but that didn't matter; it was what the day symbolized that was important. For Maria, this day was never how she pictured it. She had pictured family and friends gathered round, excited for the happy day. She envisioned her parents becoming misty eyed as they watched their little girl grow up. Maria could just imagine the delight Anita would have, seeing her walk down the isle. And then Bernardo - he would be happy too, Maria thought. He'd be happy that she'd found a boy who loved her as much as he did.

Tony; he probably wasn't the boy Bernardo had had in mind, but he loved Maria, and that was all that mattered. Maria brushed a tear from her eye as her mind began to wander into darker thoughts; there was need for that today, for today was a happy day. Maria watched as Tony fished around in his pocket. After taking out two gold bands, Pastor Carter spoke.

"Okay, now that we're all ready, shall we begin?"

Tony and Maria exchanged a smile with each other. "Yes."

"Good," the older man replied, taking in the refreshing air of of young love.

Pastor Carter began reading from the book in his hands, but neither Tony nor Maria were listening to him. Both were lost in a world of their own, caught up in a rapture of love that not even the most gifted artist could recreate. For oil pastels and charcoal pencils could only capture the visible beauty of this moment, not the beauty found in the thoughts and feelings of husband and wife to be. And there wasn't enough paint in the world to get every angle, every glint of light, every complex emotion that came from the love between two people. Because it was just that; love is too complex a thing to capture on a canvas; to truly know what love is, one must feel it. One must experience it in its most purist form. This was the form of love that began in small ways, but then grew into something wonderful. Pure love was the kind of love that usually is only found in fairytales - the kind that book-smart doctors say can't happen. Pure love, is true love.

Tony fixed his gaze on Maria, whose glowing, angelic face mirrored the faces of the cherubs etched into the windows. To know that as of today, he and Maria would eternally be one, from now, until forever, gave Tony this inner peace that he'd never felt before. It was like the feeling you get from that first ray of summer sunshine; a warm, glorious feeling. He squeezed Maria's hand. She looked up, and gave him perhaps the widest and most sincerest smile he'd ever seen. _She's always going to be here,_ Tony thought. _I don't have to worry about never seeing her. _Tony returned the smile, smiling because he knew that Maria loved him, and because he was just so..._happy_.

While he still had her attention, Tony mouthed, "I love you," to Maria. Maria smiled, her mouth making the formation of those same three words too. Pastor Carter's words were beginning to come back into focus, as he was nearing th end of his reading. After he finished up his words, Maria knew it would be then, she and Tony would repeat those two famous words every person dreams to say someday.

When Pastor Carter's reading came to an end, he looked up at the pair in front of him. They didn't need to be told what to say.

"I do."

One hand.

"I do."

One heart. With that, Tony and Maria now knew that not even the great here after could part them.

* * *

><p>"I love you."<p>

Maria lifted her head from Tony's chest and smiled. "I love you too."

There was a silence in the room that brought a feeling of ease over the pair, for they knew that now _nothing _could come between them. Sure, they knew that the minute they left the city, but having something to represent that bond made it seem more…real.

The open window allowed the summer music of the crickets and katydids to circulate throughout the room, the only notion that they weren't in some far off dreamland. But that was okay, for as Tony and Maria were finding out, when you're in love, dreaming often leaves the mind unsatisfied; dreams are a one-time occurrence, full of misty hopes and wishes that the heart can only yearn for. Real love, _true_ love has no need for those false hopes and wishes. For true love is not a one-time occurrence - it's an every day occurrence.

Maria sighed contently. With her head rested on Tony's chest, she could watch the steady rise and fall of his breathing. Maria moved her feet that were caught in the sea of blankets at the foot of the bed. The cotton felt cool against her skin in the warmness of the late summer night; a breeze coming in through the window was a hint at the crisp air of fall that was to come. To think, that summer was soon over; but that didn't hinder the hope that Maria had. She saw the changing seasons as a new chapter in her life - or rather a new chapter in the life of her and Tony.

"Maria?" Tony asked, lifting the veil of silence in the room. He glanced at the clock, but did so in an uninterested manor; the time didn't matter to him at this particular moment.

"Hmm?"

Tony paused before answering. "You know, this was probably one of the best summers of my life - and I wanted to say thank you."

Maria propped herself up on her elbows and gazed at Tony. "You gave me a wonderful summer too. And you gave me so much more than that as well." Maria intertwined her hands with Tony's. "I thought I would tell you too, just in case you did not already know."

Tony brought his lips to Maria's, and as she let her arms wrap around his neck, she was taken back to summer night; the night she learned what it meant to really be in love. That night was never going to be forgotten by Maria - for more reasons than one. That was the night Maria said good bye to her brother, and the night she forever devoted herself to Tony - those things could _never _fade away with the vibrancy of summer.

Maria felt a shiver run up her spine as Tony traced his hands lightly across her shoulders. It was those little sensations that Maria savored the most. They were the sorts of sensations that began in her heart, and then radiated out like the ripples of puddle do when a pebble is thrown into it. And as Maria's lips met Tony's once again, she knew that those ripples would only widen as the months passed on.

* * *

><p>When the warm days of summer departed, and the leaves were painted in hues of oranges and reds, the scene for fall was set. And as the days grew shorter, and brought chilly nights draped with an air of mystery, there was one thing that was not a mystery: it <em>was <em>possible for summer love to remain in one piece, even after the warm days were nothing but memories.

"How about…Alice?"

Maria gazed out into the tiny backyard from the porch; the yard was littered with crimson colored leaves. As Tony continued to rake them into a somewhat neat pile, she smiled.

"No; try again."

"Okay. How about Doris?"

"Doris?"

Tony smiled at Maria as he leaned against his rake. "Yeah; like the actress."

"It is still a no," Maria said as she scrunched her nose up like that of a rabbit. She then pulled the sweater she had around her shoulders closer and gazed up to sky. The bare trees cracked the pure, crisp blue, making the sky resemble a broken mirror. "Why are you only saying girl names?"

Tony shrugged. "Fine. There's…Stanley, Albert, Eugene…"

"_Ay_, no!"

"What?" Tony asked with a smile, trying not to laugh. "Those are all wonderful names!"

"How about we just wait; it will be awhile until the baby even comes."

"It's October now; that means…" Tony paused, and counted the months out on his fingers like a child does when showing their age, "only five more months to go."

"And that is _plenty_ of time."

"You say that now." Tony wiped his arm across his forehead, abandoned his rake, and took a seat next to Maria. "Before you know it, March will be here and…things will be different."

"Yes, but it will be a good kind of different. A happy kind of different."

Tony tucked a stray piece of Maria's hair behind her ear, and then brought a hand to her wind-chapped cheek.

"I got some good news from work yesterday."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Tony scooted closer to Maria. "My boss told me I could stay late and…" Tony paused when he watched Maria's face darken a bit. "You're okay with this, right?"

Maria began pulling on a loose button on her sweater. "Oh, of course."

Tony grinned. "Ah, I knew you'd understand." He threw his arms around Maria and dropped a kiss to her head. "These extra hours are going to make life easier for us, I promise. Especially when you won't be able to work anymore."

Maria let a hand drift to her slightly enlarged middle. She wanted to be happy for Tony, really, she did - but part of her still wasn't sold on the idea. Still, she put on a smile and turned towards Tony. "If you are happy, then I am happy."

"Likewise. And I promise I won't be too late every night; just two or three days out of the week."

Maria propped her head against Tony's shoulder. "I am holding you to that promise."

"What, don't you believe me?" Tony asked with a smile. "Hey, the more I work, then the eaiser it is for us to pay our rent. And then Carol isn't such a..."

"Tony!" Maria playfully slapped Tony across the arm.

"Oh come on, you know it's true."

"Yes, I do. I just do not say things like that."

"But you think them."

Maria looked at Tony, who was smiling like he'd just broken a window with a baseball. The two of them sat in silence for a bit, each thinking about their separate things. Tony was thinking about how much easier it would be for Maria and him with a little extra money. And Maria, Maria was thinking that too, but she also could see the possibility of not so good things coming from a little extra money. After all, she was always taught that money can't buy happiness; she assumed Tony knew that too. She and Tony were plenty happy, but then again, the thought of not having to worry about being able to pay the rent on time sounded nice to Maria. And then there was the baby; babies need to be taken care of, and money is often the antidote for that kind of stuff. Perhap money could buy happiness...if not Maria's, then someone elses. That's what Maria told herself; that Tony took on extra hours to help out with baby, and if that was the case, then it was only good things could come from this.


	7. When That Morning Comes

Seeing as yesterday was my last day of school, I thought I'd update early this week. In this chapter a not so nice word is tossed into the mix (And no, it is not the use of the word 'shitty' in the song lyric below). I **DO NOT** under any circumstances tolerate words of that breed in the real world; I was even debating on whether or not to use it in the story. However, this is a work of fiction, set in a time when words of that sort were not frowned upon so much. I wanted to make that clear so I don't offened anyone. If I would happen to offened anybody, let me know and I will kindly take it out. I also feel bad referring to Tony and Maria's unborn child as an "it" at one point in this chapter; if you feel the same way, perhaps replacing "it" with Unborn Baby No Name will make you feel better.

To my reviewers who have been enjoying all the sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows romance this story conatins: I'm giving a heads up that the lollipops turn a bit sour in this chapter.

Speaking of my reviewers: thank you, as always, to Penny L. Pingleton, broken-paige, and Iwait4theRain for the reviews. And welcome on board thepurplefruit and twihardfanpire24! All your words of kindness mean so much to me.

* * *

><p><strong>One day we'll get outta this shitty apartment<strong>

**One day is all it takes for things to turn around now**

**All I know is I got you and you got me, babe**

**And when that morning comes, ****I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper**

**We'll talk about our plans, ****and I'll keep saying how lucky we are**

**~"How Lucky We Are" by Meiko**

* * *

><p>Tony groggily climbed up the stairs, his footfalls becoming heavier the closer he got to the top. He slowly opened up the bedroom door so as not wake Maria. After Tony's eyes adjusted to the dark, he could see Maria's sleeping form on their bed. He gently sat down at the foot of the bed, kicked his shoes off, and crawled towards the pillow, not even caring that he was still dressed in his clothes. All he wanted to do was feel the deadening comfort that sleep brought; he was hoping that Maria desired the same. The last thing Tony wanted to be bothered by was an argument with Maria, a task that seemed to become part of the couple's nightly routine.<p>

And they were often arguments over dumb things, like whose turn it was to wash the dishes after dinner, or not folding laundry correctly. But sometimes, the arguments would be over not so dumb things, such as paying the rent on time. That argument was the one lousy dandelion that just wouldn't die in a seemingly perfect lawn.

Maria stirred when Tony rolled over on his side. Dumb mistake, making any sort of movement; Tony knew better than that. After sharing a bed for five months, Tony had learned that Maria was not a heavy sleeper.

"Are you going to be this late every night?"

Tony sighed heavily. "I told you; I'll be working later and…" Tony trailed off when Maria turned on the bedside lamp. She sat up and gazed at him.

"You work too hard; there is no need for you to…"

Tony waved a dismissive hand at Maria. "Maria, I don't want to talk about this right now."

"But the doctor said that it is fine for me to work."

Tony let his eyes linger on Maria for a moment. There was something…different about her. And it wasn't just the fact that it was now obvious to tell she was pregnant. No, it was something else. Perhaps it was that now, for the first time ever, Tony sensed a bit of frustration coming from her.

"Yeah, but someday you won't work."

Maria placed a gentle hand on Tony's shoulder. "And we will get along just fine."

Tony said nothing, and just stared at the wall. The thin, white wall with a crack running through it.

All the while, Maria watched him. He had changed since that June morning in the bus station. Maria was starting to wonder where all that optimism in Tony had gone; had he left it in the warm, carefree days of summer? Wherever he had left it, Maria longed for him to find it. Because Maria couldn't recall the last time Tony mentioned _anything_ about what all they had in front of them. All he talked about now was how they were going to pay the rent and their bills on time.

"Tony, I am worried about you. You work so late, and…"

"I just want to give you a perfect life; I want you to be happy."

"I would be happy if you came home earlier." She thought it was selfish, asking Tony to not work late. But she reminded herself of the tiny life within her, and knew that no, it was most certainly _not _selfish. "Are you going to work this late when the baby comes?"

Tony sighed. The baby. That had become Maria's go-to reason as to why Tony shouldn't work so late, or why they should stop arguing all the time and just talk.

"I might have to unless you want to raise our baby on the street."

"Now Tony, you know very well that is not going to happen!"

"How do you know that Maria?" Tony said with a bit more agitation than he intended.

"Because! I know things will be better someday."

"Maria, it _is _someday! Look around you! Do you _see_ things getting better?"

Maria rubbed her fingers over her forehead, suppressing a nonexistent headache. "Tony, give things time."

"Time, ha. It's been five months since we've left that damn city; how much time could we possibly need to "figure things out"?"

As Tony got up from the bed, Maria reached a thin arm out to stop him. But he continued on and walked towards the dresser in the corner of the room. After rooting through one of the drawers, he removed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He then went to the window, cracked it open, and allowed the crisp November air to filter into the room.

Maria pulled the blankets up around her, shivering as the cold air settled into the room. She watched as Tony leaned against the window frame, blowing clouds of smoke out the window and watching as they disappeared into nothing. He told her that he'd quit, that he didn't need those things anymore and that they reminded him of the life he'd abandoned in the city. This thought almost made Maria afraid to venture forward with the question on her mind.

"Are you…_unhappy _with your life now?"

Tony looked away from the window, nearly dropping the cigarette on to the worn windowsill. "No! No…I…Maria, can we talk about this in the morning?"

Maria moved to the foot of the bed. She jumped a bit as her bare feet hit the cold floor. "Tony, please; if you are unhappy then we should talk."

"I'm not unhappy! God Maria, why don't you believe me?"

"I…I, I do believe you."

"Then stop trying to get me to talk! Not a damn thing is wrong Maria!"

That was it for Maria. "But there is! You work all the time, I never see you anymore, and you told me that you gave those up!" Maria waved a hand at the cigarette between Tony's fingers.

"Well I'm sorry that I need something to do so that I don't go crazy from working in that hell hole all day long!" Tony paused, taking a long drag of his cigarette. "You know, I _did _take on those extra hours so we'd have extra money for when the baby comes. But I guess you don't really care about that, because you just seem to think all of our answers will just fall out of the sky!"

Maria stood up from the foot of the bed. "Tony, I _do _care. I want to give our child a wonderful life too, and I want _you _to be part of that life as well. But that will not happen if you work all the time."

Tony extinguished his cigarette on the windowsill; not like the cigarette could put more damage on the already splintered wood. "So it goes back to that again? Fine! You know what Maria? I'll make you happy and quit! See how wonderful our life is then!"

Maria let out a sigh of frustration. "Tony, _please_ listen to me! If something is wrong or if I have done something to make you unhappy, just tell me. Please."

Tony faced Maria, suddenly feeling something that he never before felt towards her. "Maria I'm starting to think that it's _you_ who's unhappy!"

"_I _am fine! You are the one who complains about everything all the time!"

"Well I'm sorry I'm the only one who seems to care about paying off all of our rent and bills! If you're so sick of my complaining, then maybe you should just leave!"

Tony watched Maria's face drain of all its color. Her eyes went wide like a deer's do in the headlights, leaving nothing but blank disconnect on her face.

"Maria, no; I didn't mean it!"

Tony grabbed Maria by the wrist, but she quickly wriggled away from his grasp. When he heard the bathroom door slam shut, Tony looked to the picture on the nightstand and wondered where those days had gone. It seemed like he and Maria argued all the time; he didn't think it was possible to argue with her. But as these disagreements became more common, he was finding out that it _was_ possible to argue with Maria. And this scared Tony. It scared him to think that he and Maria were starting to unrarvel into a pile of twisted threads, tangled up in a heap of confusion. Tony knew he loved Maria, but lately it was hard for him to remember why he loved her. That scared him as well, because he didn't want to repeat the same cycle his own parents began.

He remembered the arguments his own parents used to have. They too had started over small, mundane things, but then one night Tony's father got tired of all the arguing, left without a goodbye, and never came back. Tony had been pretty young at the time, but he was still old enough to replay all the shouting, the hurt feelings, the...the _hate._ Hate, that was what he and Maria wished to escape when they left the city. Tony didn't want hate to make its ugly face known in their new life too. He didn't want to turn into his own parents.

**~.~**

Maria sat on the bathroom floor with her back against the tub. She buried her face into her hands and sobbed until her breaths became short and shallow. Where had they gone wrong? What could they of done different? What happened next? Maria lifted her head a bit, and fixed her gaze on the ring around her finger. That little, gold band was a reminder of all the wonderful things she and Tony shared. But recently, the only thing they shared were arguments. And they weren't just small arguments. They were arguments that often resulted in lots of tears and angry feelings. She wrapped her arms around her waist, reminding herself that there was another person who was upset by these arguments too. More than anything, she wanted these arguments to end for the sake of their child. No child deserved to be raised with knowing shouting, hurt feelings, and hate - especially when that shouting, those hurt feelings, and the hate came from the two people that a child knew, and loved, most.

Maria wiped a hand across her eyes that had become red and puffy. She wasn't going to deny it, things _were_ hard, but Tony…Tony was blowing things out of proportion. Maria knew that someday things would become easier. And she bet Tony knew that too, he just wanted an answer a lot sooner. He wasn't willing to wait for that morning when things suddenly were brighter. And until he realized that, Maria saw more fighting in the forecast.

* * *

><p>The following morning, Tony sat at the kitchen table alone. Maria had left a note on the counter saying that she had to be at work early, there was something about her and Eleanor working together, and that she'd made toast and left some in the oven for him. What stuck out to Tony most in the note, was that Maria had not said "I love you" anywhere. As he took a sip of his orange juice, he gazed down at Maria's neatly curved handwriting. Was this what they had come to? Speaking through quick notes scribbled on a napkin and leftover toast soggy from butter? Tony didn't want this. He <em>knew <em>Maria didn't want this.

Tony wanted that love that was so alive in the summer. He wanted that feeling of wholeness he got when he and Maria would lie next to each other in bed at night. But those feelings of lusty, perhaps even childish, love were gone. Maybe, Tony decided, he and Maria were on a new tier of the strange thing known as love. It was a tier that had things like arguing, compromising, and real "grown up" problems. Paying rent, paying bills, buying groceries, and the baby. The _baby_. Tony often wondered if things would be different if a baby wasn't in the equation. But then, if a baby _wasn't _in the equation, Tony bet that the rift between Maria and him would be greater…and possibly even harmful to their relationship.

A pound at the back door jarred Tony away from his thoughts. He slowly walked to the door, not at all thrilled to see who was at it.

"Morning Tony," Carol muttered. After inviting herself in, she glared at Tony. "Now, I know that Maria is expecting, but I'm going to need that rent. Not _half_ of it, _all _of it!"

"Yeah, we know." Tony paused. "Right now Maria and I have other things we need to take care of."

"Tony, if you don't pay the rent, that other thing isn't going to have a place to live. And don't even get me started on the arguing; I can hear you two over the television sometimes!"

Tony got up from the table and poured his unfinished orange juice down the sink. He could vaguely make out his reflection in the window: he saw tired, hollow eyes and a mouth that couldn't remember the last time it had laughed. He saw the shadow of the idealistic person he once was, and the hardened person, complete with bitter coating, he was becoming.

"I didn't come over here for nothing; are you giving me the rent or not?" Carol asked highly agitated.

Tony rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, working out the tension of one too many arguments with Maria. Tapping her fingers on the counter, Carol waited impatiently for an answer.

"Give us two weeks on the rent, okay?" Tony said, supporting his weight against the sink.

"Two weeks, huh? Let's hope by then you and Maria have worked out your problems, because if I hear any more arguing, you, and that Spic you call your girlfriend, are out of here!"

Tony whipped around from the sink and gawked at Carol. "Don't you **ever** call Maria that again! And Maria's more than just my girlfriend. I know that may not make sense to you, but I love her and I don't care how you feel about it! We'll have your rent to you in two weeks, okay? I promise. I'm sorry that we've gotten behind; even _you _must be able to understand that right now, most of our money is being used for things for the baby."

Carol gripped the doorknob tightly and wagged a finger at Tony before leaving. "Two weeks!"

After she slammed the door shut, Tony knew what he had to do.

* * *

><p>"Maria? Maria? Maria, you have enough hangers."<p>

Maria gazed down to her arms that were bursting with clothing hangers. As she began hanging some back up, Eleanor shook her head.

"Having a kid made me act funny too." Eleanor smiled to herself as she crookedly sewed up a shirt. "Why, one morning I…" Eleanor stopped when Maria's eyes dropped to the floor. Eleanor thought Maria was being awfully quiet today. Grant it, she wasn't a girl of many words to begin with, but at least Eleanor could usually hold a conversation with her. But today, today Maria was as silent as a statue from one of those fancy art museums Eleanor saw in her magazines. As Eleanor reached for a seam ripper, the most used tool on her sewing table, she glanced at Maria.

"Maria, are you okay?"

Maria lifted her head and watched as Eleanor tore out the threads of the shirt. One by one they would snap, and then fray at the edges. Their strength that had once held fabric together diminished. Maria wanted to say that she was fine. She wanted to tell Eleanor that she and Tony were wonderful, and that they couldn't be happier. But that would be a lie, and Maria was taught never to lie.

"No, I am not."

Eleanor glanced up, alarmed. Maria's usually soft, unscathed voice cracked and shook as she spoke. "You and Tony doing okay?"

Maria shook her head. "We argue all the time…and…he never wants to talk," Maria choked out. "And…and last night he…he…he told me I should leave if I am unhappy."

Eleanor was at a loss as to what to do when tears begin to fall from Maria's eyes. She was never one who dealt with sadness very well. Even after her road of life had become riddled with potholes, she liked to keep a positive attitude; it made it easier for her to get through the day. When Maria's cries became louder, Eleanor pulled a chair away from a table and gently sat Maria down in it.

"Maria I'm sure he didn't mean it; believe me, I _know _when I guy wants to call it quits for good," Eleanor said as she too took a seat.

"But…he still _said _it, which means he must _think _it too."

"Maria," Eleanor began, taking Maria's hands in her own. "Listen to me: Tony _loves _you. Sure, you two are having some trouble, but it'll blow over. Something will happen, and things will go back to normal for the both of you."

Maria slowly nodded at Eleanor. She smiled, and handed Maria a tissue. Maria wanted to believe Eleanor, really, she did. She wanted to go home tonight, and have things all patched up between her and Tony; just as simple as that. As Maria dabbed her eyes, she shrugged.

"I am sorry," Maria said, crumpling up her tissue and tossing it into the trash can. "I do not why I am telling you all of this. You probably have...other things to worry about."

Eleanor laid the shirt she had been working on next to Maria's work; it was quite obvious which shirt belonged to who. "Hey, we all gotta get those bad feelings out. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Maria smiled a bit, aiding Eleanor in removing the lingering threads. Eleanor watched Maria's delicate fingers work on pulling the threads loose. Her eyes then went downwards. Eleanor had more in common with Maria than she thought.

"You know Maria, you're the closest thing I've had to a friend in a long time. I mean, at first, things were weird between us; but now I feel like we've known each other forever," Eleanor said.

Maria smiled. "Yes."

A friend, she thought. Sure, she and Eleanor may never have the same sister-like relationship she shared with Anita. But Eleanor was willing to listen, and sometimes, that's the best thing a friend can do.

* * *

><p>That evening, Tony came in through the front door. Maria hadn't waited for him to come by when she was done at work; Tony didn't blame her. After all, they'd stopped walking home together ever since Tony had taken on all of the extra hours. They'd stopped eating meals together and talking about serious and not so serious things. In a way, they'd stopped all the things that made them a pair, and were starting to become two people who just happened to live together. But that lack of togetherness was soon to be ended.<p>

A lamp in the living room was on; it spilled light into the hallway, oddly casting Tony's shadow across the wall. When he neared the kitchen, he found Maria with her back turned from him. One of her hands was rested on her lower back, and the other was occupied with a task, making this the perfect time for Tony to say, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that stuff I said last night. Really, I didn't."

Maria turned to face Tony. For a moment, they stared at each other, neither knowing what to do next. Maria then let her eyes drop to the floor. Tony wasn't really expecting a a grand hero's welcome home from Maria; he said some pretty heavy things to her last night. It sickened Tony now to think that his tongue even _knew _how to say such horrible things, especially to Maria, the girl who loved him. The girl who was having his child. The girl whose brother he'd killed, and yet still stood by him.

"I know."

Tony cocked his head to the side. "What?"

"I said I know." Maria moved away from the counter and stood in front of Tony. She placed her hands on his shoulders. "And I am sorry too. I have no right to tell you what to do. If you want to work, that is your choice."

"I know it is. But if a job is going to come between us, then it's not worth it. Which is why I quit today."

Maria's eyes went wide. She stared at Tony like he was crazy. Tony placed his hands on Maria's cheeks and looked into her eyes.

"Don't worry; I have another job lined up. It'll be normal hours, better pay." Tony ran his fingers through Maria's hair. "And that means more time I get to be with you."

"So no more late nights?"

"No, no more late nights sorting through strangers' mail."

Maria smiled, and pressed her face into Tony's shirt. As Tony let his arms wrap around Maria, he said those three words that his lips hadn't tasted for quite some time.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Tony hugged Maria tighter, but Maria quickly pulled away. She let a hand drop to her waist and stared off into the distance. After waiting for five months, Maria finally felt the sensation that every mother to-be longs to feel. It felt like...how she imagined a fish must feel like as it swims around in its glass, water-filled home.

"Maria what is it?"

Maria quickly grabbed Tony's hand and pressed it to her stomach. At first, Tony had no idea what Maria was attempting to show him, but then he felt a tiny kick against his hand. Maria looked up at Tony with wide-eyed wonderment. It felt as if a miniature drum stick was beating against his hand.

"Wow," Tony said, not moving his hand. "That's...that's the baby."

Up until now, the baby had sort of been a foreign concept to Tony. He didn't have the same connection to it as Maria did, so it was hard for him to picture a baby with fingers and toes and eyes without actually seeing it face-to-face. But now, as he felt that small yet determined movement press against his hand, that connection had been made. That connection of an already established human life to a human life still being molded was created. It was the connection of a father to his child.

"I know," Maria almost whispered, perhaps because she thought any loud sound might scare away the precious little person trying to make themself heard. Maybe the baby too could sense the sudden feeling of released tension between its parents, and that tiny movement was its way of reminding them that there weren't just two people's feelings in consideration, but three.

Tony left his hand where it was, hoping to feel that oh so wonderful connection he had just experienced once again. Even now, before even seeing the baby, Tony was somehow amazed by it.

"I think someone else loves us too," Maria added.


	8. Out of This Mistletoe

This chapter was very hard for me to write. But after listening to "Underneath the Sycamore" by Death Cab for Cutie over and over again, I finally liked what I had. On Sunday I'm leaving my nice, air conditioned home that has indoor plumbing for a tiny, hot wooden cabin with NO indoor plumbing for the week. So if you would happen to leave a review or drop me a message during the week, I'm not replying because I don't love you, it's because I'm getting closer to Mother Nature. I will _try _to update the Saturday I get back, but seeing as though the only thing I usually want to do when I come home from camp is take a shower free from the company of creepy crawlies followed by an "I'm dead to the world" nap, I'm not making any promises.

Thank you to those who took the time to review the last chapter! You guys make my day with your kind words! And to Iwait4theRain: an object of yours is mentioned in this chapter; hope you don't mind that I used it! :P

And now, I must become all lovey dovey: Today is one year since I joined the Secret Society of FanFiction. Today also marks one year since I reviewed Iwait4theRain's story On Top of the World. Since then, we have become very good friends, which is good, considering I've never "met" her. Heres to one year buddy!

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><p><strong>When we are out in the market and out on the streets<strong>

**I've got a pocket full of problems and a pocket full of seeds **

**Hoping something good might grow out of this mistletoe**

**And I won't have to erase your memory**

**~"Christmas TV" by Slow Club**

* * *

><p>"More to the left."<p>

"You're killing me Maria," Tony said as he moved a spindly pine tree for what seemed like the hundredth time. Maria looked at him from her seat on the couch. It was nice, she thought, having things between them somewhat back to how they used to be. She and Tony were slowly getting out of the rough water they had been in, and starting to find more stable footing. While they still had their moments of disagreements, they weren't nearly as bad as they had been. And as much as Tony hated to admit it, his new job contributed to this new understanding between himself and Maria.

Him not coming home at an ungodly hour of the morning gave them the time to talk. The rent was still an issue, especially with Carol, who stuck to her strict expectations of when she wanted the rent, and of course they still had bills to pay. But in the coming week, a day would arrive when none of that stuff mattered.

As Tony positioned the tree for what he hoped was the final time, he glanced at Maria. "Can't believe Christmas is a week away."

"I know," Maria said as she picked up a box of Christmas tree ornaments. They had been bought at a second hand store, and the box looked as if it had been in someone's attic for years before being rediscovered. Half of the ornaments weren't even there, and many of the remaining ornaments were broken in some way. "It does not even feel like Christmas."

"Yeah I know. Probably because it hasn't snowed yet."

Maria's head perked up at the mention of snow. "Do you think it will snow?"

"It should; it's been pretty cold." Tony took note of Maria's wonder-filled eyes as he took the box of ornaments from her. "And for your sake, I hope it does."

"Will it snow a lot?"

"It all depends," Tony said with a laugh. "Sometimes it snows a lot, then sometimes it's not even enough to cover the grass."

"But, do you think if does snow, it will be a lot?"

Tony turned away from the tree and smiled at Maria. "This is very important to you, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," Maria said with a grin. She watched as Tony hung the ornaments on the thin tree limbs. Some of the limbs drooped from the added weight, causing the them to bend and look like they were mourning. When Tony hung the last ornament on, he joined Maria on the couch.

"Not too bad, considering Christmas is a week away."

"Yes." Maria paused and looked around the tiny living room. The tree in the corner seemed out of place to her, like it was an afterthought. In fact, it was hard for Maria to even imagine Christmas being next week. Back home, Christmas was very special. With special masses meant to honor the coming of Baby Jesus and going on a _parrandas _with her family. Family. Perhaps that was what made the impeading holdiay seem surreal; she was so far away from the ones who made that day worth while.

"Did you do special things for Christmas?" she asked Tony.

"Well, if you count visting my crazy Aunt Ina and her drunk boyfriend in Poughkeepsie special, then yeah. Other than that, not really." Tony then got a smile on his face. "My mother did have this clock though; it played different Christmas carols each hour. Then one year, Riff and I were fooling around with a football in the kitchen, and we "accidentley" broke it. How about you?"

"Oh we did lots of special things. On Christmas Eve, my entire family would get together and have dinner. Then we would go to church. Oh, and we would also go on a _parrandas_,"she said with a smile. "That was always fun."

"What's a _parr-paran-das_?" Tony asked, turning a bit red as he stumbled over the word that rolled off Maria's tongue so easily.

"A _parrandas _is when a group of people get to together, and then go to other peoples' houses and sing."

"Oh. So it's like Christmas caroling?"

Maria shrugged with a smile on her face. "I guess. Everyone always enjoyed them. Even if you could not sing, it never mattered."

"There were Christmas carolers in the city too." Tony smiled as he thought back to when he and Jets used to terrorize groups of carolers with snowballs. "Of course, most people in the city didn't really enjoy carolers."

"You were one of them, yes?" Maria asked, knowing very well what Tony's answer would be.

"No comment," Tony said as he put an arm around Maria. The longer the two of them sat, Tony thought about future Christmases they would have together.

"Next Christmas it just won't be you and me anymore," he said, placing a hand onto Maria's stomach. "And it won't be this quiet either."

"No, probably not." Maria rested a hand on top of Tony's. As he leaned down to kiss her, he smiled.

"Next year, we'll be a family."

Maria smiled too, only hers was a bit sad. "Yes; we will."

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><p>Maria watched the snow from the window. The flakes' crystalline forms drifted down from the sky, and then collected on the bare tree limbs. She traced her finger, and then her hand, across the foggy window pane, making the outside seem a bit blurred.<p>

"My mother used to hate it when I'd do that."

Maria snapped out of her thoughts and smiled as Tony sat down on the other end of the couch. After Maria moved her feet and rested them on his knees, Tony handed her one of two mugs of hot chocolate he had in his hands.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." As Tony took a sip of his hot chocolate, he looked outside. "Good thing we got home from church before all of this started; we'd never of seen anything in this mess."

Maria looked in Tony's direction, but said nothing. Instead, she returned to gazing out the window. The mug she held in her hand brought a numbing effect to the tips of her fingers. The tingly sensation gave her mind physical distress to worry about, creating a blockade against the mental distress plaguing her mind. Maria gripped the mug tighter, longing to feel that dull warmth against her hands. It was when she tipped her mug a little too much to the right and the hot liquid spilled onto her skin, that she released her grip slightly.

But even after she drew her hand away, the pain from the spill still lingered on Maria's hand. And then, the pain began to spread, working its way through the layers of her skin, through her network of veins and muscles, and ending at her bones fastened together by threads of ligaments. All the while, a different kind of pain whittled its way into her heart. It was the sort of pain brought on by feeling only half completed, or like a part of your life is missing. It was the kind of pain that was especially hard to deal with at Christmastime; a time for friends and family. _Family_, Maria mused._ My family_.

"It was last year at Christmas that Papa said that we would be moving," Maria seemed to blurt out of thin air. Tony looked up. He wasn't sure if that was an invitation for him to respond, or just listen.

"Really?" he asked, for lack of a better response.

She nodded, sitting her mug on the coffee table. "Yes. At first, I did not want to live someplace else. It seemed so scary, to have to leave the only place I knew as home." Maria gave a nostalgic smile. "But then Papa talked about all of the new things in America, and how on the next Christmas, I would see snow. We would all see snow."

All. Tony knew what that word meant to Maria. It meant her parents and Anita. Bernardo. Tony, suddenly not feeling like hot chocolate anymore, placed his mug on the coffee table too.

"It's funny," Tony began, "how a happy hoilday can get you thinking about not so happy things." When Maria remained silent, Tony continued. "You know, the Christmas after my father left, it was hard. I mean, my parents didn't have the greatest marriage in the world, but it still didn't feel right. Because even then, when I was little, I knew that someone else belonged under the tree on Christmas morning. Maria, what I'm saying is, I, I get it."

"Yes, but _you_ were not the one who left," Maria said blandly.

"Then I wasn't. But now I am. And I feel horrible too, for just leaving." Tony looked out the window for a brief moment. The snow had picked up, and now it was blowing around in a white cloud outside. "For years after my father left, I was mad at him. And now I did the same thing."

Maria turned her head. She gave Tony a long stare before speaking.

"I miss them Tony; I feel guilty for just leaving at a time when I should of stayed." Maria inhaled a shaky breath. "And I worry about what will happen if I never see them again. And what if they are angry at me?"

"Maria," Tony paused, moving closer to her. He put an arm around her before continuing. "Maria, you'll see them again. Maybe not anytime soon, but someday."

"Did you ever see your father again?" she asked, nervously twisting her hands.

Tony thought back to the years he spent his childhood Christmas wishes on wanting his father to come back. "Well, no. But Maria, I can bet you your parents are _nothing_ like my father."

Maria gave Tony a sort of sad look. Here she was, seated next to someone who really loved her and cared about her, and all she could do was be sad about feeling lonely. What about Anita? Maria wondered how Anita was; the boy whom she loved and her friend were gone. If anyone should feel lonely tonight, it was Anita, not Maria.

Tony could see that his words were not enough to take her mind off of sad thoughts. So he thought he'd try a different method.

"Listen to us. We should be happy; it _has_ been Chrtstmas for three minutes," Tony said as he motioned to the clock on the wall. "Which makes it okay for me to give you your gift."

"Tony you did not need to get me anything."

Tony got up from the couch. He opened up the coat closet and removed a box wrapped in red paper from the shelf. "I know; but I wanted to get you something." He handed the box to Maria and took a seat on the chair. "Go ahead, open it."

Maria ran her fingers under the taped edges and carefully tore the paper off. When she was face to face with the box, she removed the lid.

"Oh Tony," she said as she lifted a photo album out of the box.

"There aren't any pictures in it, but I didn't think that'd be a problem anymore in a few months."

Maria smiled. She opened up the album, her eyes catching a note written on the front cover: _Christmas, 1957 We've seen a lot and are still here; lets make things always be that way. Love, Tony._

"Thank you. I feel bad; I have nothing to give you."

As Tony reached for his mug, he waved a hand at Maria. "Don't worry about it; like I said, I _wanted _to get you something. Besides, you just being here is the only gift I need."

Maria traced her fingers over the cover of the photo album. She was going to fill it with lots of pictures; she never wanted her own child to feel the way she felt at the moment.

"Do you think we will ever fill this up?"

Tony smiled, glad to see that Maria's mood had changed a bit. "Maybe."

"There are a lot of pages in here," Maria said as she flipped the pages back and forth.

"Well we got a lot of years ahead of us, so that shouldn't be a problem."

* * *

><p>The following morning, Maria was the first wake. Her eyes first went to the corner of the room where Tony was slumped over the chair. In his hand he still held onto an empty mug, making him resemble a child who stayed up in hopes of catching a glimpse of Santa Claus. But when Maria's eyes met the frosted window panes, nothing else in the room mattered. Through the crystallized ice she could see the brilliant sparkle of new snow. Almost as if in a trance, Maria got up from the couch and moved to the window.<p>

Everything outside had a powdered sugar coating on it, giving it a dreamlike quality. Maria had an urge to run outside into the soft, fluffy snow and savor the feeling of the frozen water against her warm hands. But even Maria knew that that act would destroy the serene beauty of the new fallen snow.

"Merry Christmas," a voice from behind called. Maria turned her head and saw Tony sleepily stretching out his arms. "Looks like you got your snow; must be at least three feet out there."

Maria smiled. "Did ever snow this much in the city?"

"Yeah, but it never looked this nice." Tony got up from the couch and stood behind Maria. He too was amazed by how beautiful snow could be when it wasn't mixed with dirt from the sidewalk.

"So, in a way, it is like you are seeing snow for the first time too?"

Tony bent down and kissed Maria on the head. "Yeah; it is."

"It is so..._beautiful_," Maria said in an awe-filled whisper. "Everything looks so...new."

"And clean," Tony said in his own amazement. He'd seen snow before, which is why he felt kind of stupid staring out the window at nothing more but frozen water. Sure, it wasn't _white _snow, but it still was snow. But as he stood next to Maria, who lived most of her life someplace where it never snowed, he saw what she saw in the frozen matter outside. He saw its simplistic beauty. He saw the icy tree limbs that reminded him of those fancy glasses his mother only used on days like today. And he understood _why _seeing snow was so important to Maria.

Maria looked up at him, her eyes wide. "Last night, when I told you about Papa said about seeing snow, well, I realized something."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Well, even though we are far apart from each other, the snow all came from the same place. So, in a way, we did all get to see snow together." Maria's gaze went back to the window. She briefly looked up to the sky. "Even 'Nardo."


	9. What is it That You Remember?

Hello! I have returned! Gah, camp was sooo much fun. From awesome worship services and amazing conversations, to less serious things like staying up until 3:30 in the morning to frolic through the grass, have rolling-down-the-hill races, gaze at stars, and play The Flashlight Game. One night we even dressed up a guy like a pirate when he dozed off in a chair. And the best part, we got to stay in a lodge this year, so no creepy crawlies in the shower! YAY! Also, I guess my mom listened to some of my music while I was gone, because she now thinks Owl City is quote on quote "pretty neat." And the other night she watched Coldplay in Concert with me. On VH1.

I have also begun working, so updates may not be as set in stone as they have been. But on a bittersweet note, after this chapter there are only six more chapters to go, so I guess that...yeah. Thank you to those who reviewed last chapter! And thank you for waiting a little bit for this update.

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><p><strong>Think of every town you've lived in<strong>

**Every room you lay your head**

**And what is it that you remember?**

**Do you carry every sadness with you?**

**Every hour your heart was broken?**

**Every night the fear and darkness laid down with you?**

**~"Half Acre" by Hem**

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><p>Maria shot up in bed, her heart pounding like a drum inside her chest. As she rubbed her clammy hands to her forehead, she told herself what she said every night: It was only a dream. Forget about it, and go back to sleep. But tonight, Maria couldn't just repeat what had become her nightly mantra; no, tonight was different. Tonight, that horrible nightmare that had been plaguing her mind for the past month had become too much to bear. Why though, she wasn't quite sure.<p>

She inhaled a shaky breath to suppress her tears; she had no desire to wake Tony and worry him. But that was a task easier said than done. In no time, warm tears began to stream down Maria's face. She felt Tony turn over on his side.

"Maria?" Tony dazedly asked as he sat up in bed. "Maria, are you okay?"

Maria said nothing, and only began to cry harder at the sound of Tony's voice. She felt Tony pulled her towards him, and then felt the gentle motion of his hand rubbing her back.

"Maria," he began, his voice soft, "you can tell me what's wrong."

"I would rather not," she choked out through tears.

"Are you sure?"

Maria weakly nodded. She couldn't tell Tony about the dark thoughts that her mind created. It frightened her to know that her mind was capable of such horrible thoughts. But the longer Tony held her, she thought back to that summer night. That night when Tony could of possibly - no, Maria didn't want to think about that; but her brain seemed to think otherwise. That seemed to be the case lately. Maria had so many other thoughts on her mind, she couldn't possibly let another one clutter up her mind - especially one of such a dark quality.

But she knew that the longer she kept those bad thoughts bottled up inside, the worse they would get. Maria also knew she was just giving Tony more worry; he had his own things to worry about. It was these ideas that compelled her to finally come to terms with her negative thoughts. She lifted her head from Tony's shoulder and looked at him in the eyes. Those clear, blue eyes that she could of possibly lost.

"Tony, that, that night we ran away...Chino...Chino was looking for you." She inhaled a sharp breath, fresh tears falling from her eyes. "And he had a gun. He wanted to _kill_ you Tony. He wanted you dead and he did not want us to be together, and I do not know why this is bothering me so much. I wish I knew, because I..."

Tony brought a hand to Maria's cheek, causing her to silence for a bit. "I see." He had the slightest bit of disappointment in his eyes, but his eyes also held a bit of understanding.

"Tony I love you. I love you more than anything, and if you were not here I do not know what I would do. Which is why I want to know why I think about such awful things."

What Maria didn't know that she wasn't the only one who kept awful thoughts on their mind. Not a day went by when he didn't think or something didn't remind him of what he he almost witnessed that night at Doc's. He shudderd as he remembered. Oh how he wanted so badly to tell Maria. But then he'd be breaking a promise, and that didn't seem right either.

"We all have those bad thoughts and worries Maria," he said, not wanting to risk going into too much detail.

"But do these thoughts ever mean anything?"

"Sometimes they do." Tony felt a lump forming in his throat. "But other times they don't."

"Does what I think of mean anything?"

Tony pulled Maria towards him once again and kissed the top of her head. "No, of course not." He could tell her if he wanted to; the words were already formed in his mouth, just yearning to be said. "I'm sure you're just...worried about something." So close; why couldn't Tony bring himself to just tell Maria?

"I love you," Maria whispered.

There was the reason Tony couldn't tell her. He loved Maria, and he didn't wish to bring anymore pain upon her. Tony felt as if it was his duty to tell Maria everything would be okay; by telling her about that night at Doc's, he would just bring her down. With that thought, he kissed her once again.

"I love you too," he replied.

* * *

><p>"And then, we need to get…" Tony trailed off when he felt as though he was being watched. He looked up from the grocery list in his hand, and caught sight of a woman staring at him and Maria. It was nothing new; he and Maria often got second glances and fingers pointed at them. Still, it didn't sit well Tony. It was bad enough that Carol made it <em>quite <em>clear that she didn't like Maria; having complete strangers make subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, hints of disapproval was worse. It was like they thought that he and Maria didn't notice, so that gave permission to strangers to give odd looks and point fingers like he and Maria were some sort of carnival sideshow attraction. They were just in love; since when was love considered an anomaly?

And as much as Tony knew it did, Maria acted like it didn't bother her. She simply would just shrug when Tony would apologize about others' judgments, saying there was noting for him to apologize for. But today was different; today the look that the woman gave them was laced with downright disgust.

"Come on Maria," he said as he took Maria by the hand.

"But what about…"

"Just forget it; come on."

As Tony led Maria down the aisle, she glanced over her shoulder. A woman was talking to another woman as one of them pointed ahead. Then they both covered their mouths with their hands like they were little schoolgirls giggling over gossip.

"You should not let them bother you," Maria whispered to Tony.

"But _they _shouldn't do those things to begin with."

Maria couldn't argue with Tony there. He was right, after all. She and Tony couldn't help that they had fallen in love; love is an emotion that is beyond anyone's control. So Maria usually remained quiet whenever things like this happened, and kept her head up to show the strangers that their bitter words and looks didn't bother her.

She watched Tony as he mindlessly began tossing things into their cart.

"Tony," she began, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine; lets just finish up."

Maria just nodded and followed Tony down the aisle. They continued their grocery shopping in silence, and it wasn't until they reached their car - actually, it was Carol's car, who wasn't at all happy about loaning it out - that either of them said anything. After Tony placed grocery bags in the backseat, he climbed into the car. As he slammed the keys into the ignition, he glanced at Maria.

"I'm sorry about all that." Tony counted out one, two three; he knew what Maria was going to say next.

"Tony there is nothing for you to be sorry about."

"Yeah there is."

Maria placed a hand on Tony's. For a moment, he stared at them. They both were hands, that were both covered with skin and both had five fingers on each hand for a grand total of ten. And the longer Tony stared at his hand that was covered by Maria's, the more it bothered him that people were so narrow minded.

"What is it that you are sorry for?" Maria asked. "You did nothing wrong."

"Well the rest of the world seems to think I did."

"No; they think _both _of us did something wrong; so I guess I should tell you sorry as well."

Tony turned to Maria. Her eyes were wide, and full of such warmth and love that it didn't seem fair to Tony that she had to experience such things as this.

"Maria, if people are like this to us, what are they going to be like to…" Tony trailed off, his eyes adverting downwards. It angered him already to think that his child could possibly have the same stares and fingers directed at him or her. "Kids can be cruel Maria." Tony knew that for a fact.

"I worry about the same things," Maria said in a nervous tone. "But we must believe that things will be fine."

"I know, I know. I just..." Tony pulled his hand away from Maria's and slammed both of them against the steering wheel. "I thought things would be different here."

"Tony, sadly there are some things that you can never get away from," Maria said flatly.

Tony looked out the window at the slushy parking lot. He watched people as they made their way through the mess and walked inside. He watched couples that went under the umbrella of "normal" in the eyes of others. Normal; what did that even mean? Did it mean that a person had everything together and had nothing but blue skies ahead? Was it a word used to describe the cookie cutter pattern of life that people were so fond of? Some things that were labeled as "normal" sounded pretty nice. But some things sounded straight up boring. They sounded dull, run of the mill, and perhaps even lifeless. After Tony had spent eighteen years living in a world where houses ran together and everyone seemed to have their own daily ritual for life, he knew didn't want that. And some snide whispers and points from strangers weren't going to change his mind.

He glanced over at Maria. Her clasped hands were rested on her stomach, like she was assuring the baby (and possibly even herself) that he or she would never have to face such things that she and Tony did. But Maria wasn't stupid; she knew that there were mean people in the world, and people who thought that it was wrong for her and Tony to love each other. And sadly, some of those people were mere children who had been trained by their parents to believe that love could only happen between two people who looked alike.

Tony silently started the car and for most of the trip home, both he and Maria were quiet. When Tony stopped at a red light, he said, "We'll get through it, don't worry. We're going to be great parents."

Maria shrugged. "I like to think that too. Of course there will be some hard things we will face," Maria said, indirectly hinting at the incident in the grocery store.

"Yeah, but like you said: we should just believe things will be fine." Tony rested a hand on Maria's knee as he continued through the light. "Don't worry; we'll deal with all that together." He smiled. "All three of us will."


	10. Fast Approaching is the Day

Greetings all! So we are almost to the chapter where things begin to get laced up for the ending; sad panda, I know. But I hope you enjoy this chapter and the remaining ones that follow! Also, I have learned this past week that a supposed new hippie movement is going to take place in 2015. Anyone who cares to join me at the Woodstock Reunion is welcome to. ;) And most importantly, I do not know when my next update will be; my laptop is PMSing. I'm very sorry this happened at a turning point in the story. I still have access to a computer, just not _my _computer. Ugh.

The beginning of this chapter is a bit more light hearted; the last few chapters have had some pretty heavy things going on in them, so I thought we could all use some happiness. And I feel bad yet again for calling the soon-to-be-born baby an it. Shame on me. Finally, thank you as always to my reviewers. Maybe I'll come up with a cute name for you guys like how Lady Gaga refers to her fans as Little Monsters...hmm.

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><p><strong>Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet<strong>

**Towards home, a land that I've never seen**

**I am changing; less and less asleep**

**Made of different stuff than when I began**

**And I've sensed it all along; fast approaching is the day**

**~"Shadowfeet" by Brooke Fraser**

* * *

><p>Tony looked up from his newspaper and smiled at Maria. She was absorbed in the sewing project in her lap; her eyes only looked up once.<p>

"What?" she asked smiling, seeing that Tony was watching her.

"Nothing; just…in a little while, things are never going to be this quiet again."

Maria pressed a hand to her stomach. "Yes, but…it will be nice, to finally see…"

"Her," Tony said. Maria smiled at him again.

"Her?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's just a feeling." Tony sat his newspaper on the coffee table. "But you must think the same thing."

"Oh I do?"

"That blanket you're making _is_ pink."

Maria gazed down at the soft, pink blanket in her hands. As she ran her fingers over the unfinished edges, her face took on a nostalgic smile. "My mother always said that it is a woman's gift to know those sorts of things. I never believed her." Maria paused. "But I think I believe her now."

"So you agree with me?"

"Maybe," Maria said as she began finishing off the edges of the blanket. "But I will be happy with a girl _or_ a boy."

"I will too, but what boy wants a pink blanket?"

Maria looked up at Tony and smiled. "I think you really want a girl."

"Now I never said _that_. All I'm saying is, it's just this feeling, and you happen to agree with me."

"And _I_ never said that."

Tony smiled. "But you're thinking it."

After playfully hitting Tony across the arm, Maria returned to her sewing. The color of the blanket didn't mean anything. If the baby was a boy, then she could just make another blanket. But yet, Maria had a feeling she wouldn't have to do that. Tony was more than sure she wouldn't have to.

Maria thought maybe Tony was so set on the baby being a girl because he liked all the things that were lumped together with being a girl. The color pink, flowers, lace. And the comfort in knowing that a girl would never put herself into the path of danger - or the path of death. It was understandable; after all the things Tony had seen in his eighteen years, Maria could grasp why he wanted a girl. Perhaps that was why Maria too found herself making a pink blanket, and not a blue one. She too had seen what happened when boys' games of hide-and-seek become too much. She didn't want her own child's life to end the same way.

Maria held the blanket up and traced her fingers over the dainty stitches. Dainty like the pretty bows little girls like to wear in their hair. "Maybe," she began, "you are right. Perhaps I do want a girl."

Tony, who had returned to reading hs paper, smiled. "Told you." He moved his paper away from his face and looked at Maria. "I know you all too well."

Maria returned the smile and as she adjusted her position on the couch, sighed.

"You okay?" Tony asked as he turned a page of his newspaper.

"Yes." Maria dropped a hand to her stomach, feeling a kick. She smiled slightly. "I think someone else wants to be seen too."

Tony laughed. "Only a little less than a month to go."

"I know." Maria folded the blanket into a neat square and placed it next to her. "That day cannot come soon enough," Maria said as she began putting away her sewing things.

"What's it feel like?" Tony asked with complete (and unashamed) honesty.

"What does what feel like?" Maria replied, not following him.

"You know, being pregnant?"

Maria stifled a giggle, and then burst into a fit of laughter. "Tony..." She paused and brought a hand to Tony's cheek; he loved feeling the tender softness of her hand against his skin. "You really are something."

"What?"

Maria continued to laugh. Obviously it wasn't clicking with Tony that he was probably the only man to _ever _wonder what it was like to carry around a tiny person for nine months. Maria eased her way into Tony's arms. He wrapped his arms around her, letting his hands rest on her stomach. When he felt a kick against his hand, he smiled.

"So, what does it feel like to you when the baby moves?"

* * *

><p>Maria sat at the kitchen table with her hands rested on her stomach. It was after midnight, but sleeping through the night was something so foreign to her now. Between not being able to get comfortable, the baby deciding to stay up all night to practice moving its arms and legs, or a combination of both, Maria spent most of the night staring at the ceiling. She looked to the floor. Moonlight was spilled aross the tiles, enlarging the shadows of the kitchen chairs.<p>

"You can't sleep either?"

Maria looked towards the doorway and smiled. "No. But I never can sleep anymore."

"Probably isn't bad to get used to that now," Tony said as he took a glass out of a cabinet. He gestured to his glass, wondering if he should take another out for Maria. Maria shook her head.

"Are you excited?" Maria asked as Tony opened up the refrigerator. He leaned against the door and smiled.

"Yeah; I mean, I'd be lying - a lot, if I said I wasn't scared too, but I'm excited." Tony reached into the refrigerator, removed a carton of milk, and kicked the door closed with his foot. "How about you?"

Maria watched Tony as he poured a glass of milk. "I always knew I would have children someday. I did not think I would be this young, but now, it is hard to think about waiting."

"I know what you mean." Tony took a seat at the table. "You know, I'd see people with kids, and I always wondered what it was like to have them. But those times, it was sort of one of things that I knew could happen, but just assumed wouldn't." Tony reached a hand across the table to Maria. "Then I met you."

Maria smiled, squeezing Tony's hand as she did so. Tony sort of smiled too; _man_, he thought, _would Riff have a kick (and possibly a heart attack) if he could hear me now._ Tony supposed maybe that was where he and Riff differed; Tony was able to look ahead, and see the big picture, whereas Riff only ever saw what was going on in the here and now.

"You know," Tony began, looking at the matching rings on his and Maria's fingers, "even when I was a Jet, I knew it wouldn't always be that way; the guys would probably have my head if they knew I thought that. I mean, it was fun, but...there was still this desire for something more. You know?"

Maria nodded. "I think we all reach a time in our lives when we feel that way. It is that feeling of knowing who are and what you want to become."

Tony smiled. "Exactly. And I'm glad that you and I are doing it together."

Maria was glad of that too. She knew she'd changed in the past months. And that fact was very clear this night. Her she was, still young and with a baby on the way, listening to Tony talk about his life as if he was an old man recalling his youth. The truth was, she and Tony had grown up.

It was funny, she thought. Usually growing up is that thing people hate. They don't want to let go of the carefree joys of childhood. But if Maria had learned one thing in the past months, it was that being grown up wasn't a bad thing. No; it gave you a new view of the world, a view that is often blocked by the bright and pretty perks of childhood. And although at first the grown up world was a bit scary, after she and Tony found their footing, it was all right.

"I am glad too Tony; I am glad too."


	11. Who Turn Into Mothers

Ahh, here we are. The chapter that all of you have been waiting for. Because of that, my only note is thank you to my reviewers and hope you enjoy.

P.S: My laptop still is not being nice; with that, all the remaining chapters have to be retyped on another computer. What I'm saying is, updates may not be in a neat schedual for the rest of the story. I hope you can bear with me.

* * *

><p><strong>So fathers, be good to your daughters<strong>

**Daughters will love like you do**

**Girls become lovers who turn into mothers**

**So mothers, be good to your daughters too**

**~"Daughters" by John Mayer**

* * *

><p>As Tony turned the sheets down one night, his eyes caught the picture on the nightstand. It was one of himself and Maria, taken on their wedding day. Tony couldn't help but smile when he thought of how future pictures would have three people in them.<p>

"Soon we will need a new picture for in there."

Tony turned around and smiled at Maria. With one hand over her stomach, Maria picked up the picture and slowly at down on the bed.

"All this time waiting."

"I feel the same way," Tony said. "Hopefully we won't mess the poor kid up too badly."

Maria gave Tony a good-natured shove. "I thought you said that we were going to be great parents."

"Yeah, but that was two months ago; it's different now."

Both Tony and Maria looked to the corner of their room. The dresser hade been moved over a few inches, and a crib stood in its previous spot. Maria's blanket was neatly folded over the side just waiting to be put to good use.

"Well, I think we are _more _than ready; I know I am," Maria said as she watched Tony roll up his shirt and shove it into a drawer. "My feet hurt, my back hurts, my..."

"And it's all for the baby, remember?" Tony sarcastically reminded her. After Tony crawled into bed next to her, he kissed Maria's cheek. "I love you." He then placed a hand on her stomach. "I love both of you."

Maria smiled. "We love you too." As Tony leaned across Maria to turn off the bedside lamp, Maria quickly dropped her hands to her stomach.

"You okay?"

Maria shrugged. "Yes. The doctor told me the baby would not move as much now, but all evening..." Maria trailed off.

"All evening what?"

Maria looked at Tony and smiled; she didn't want to worry him. "But all evening I have been feeling...her move." Her. For some reason Maria felt right saying that.

"Maria I wouldn't worry too much; I'm sure the baby is just ready to get here too."

After turning over on her side (the only comfortable way Maria could sleep now) and Tony wraped his arms around her, she let Tony's words lull her to sleep.

**~.~**

Maria sat up in bed. A sharp pain rushing through her stomach had woken her from sleep. She reached a hand out to Tony and gently shook his shoulder.

"Tony?"

After a few minutes, Tony slowly lifted his head from the pillow. "Yeah?"

"Tony...I think...I think we need to go."

"What?" Tony asked, still half asleep and not quite understanding what Maria meant.

"I mean..." Maria winced, quickly reaching for Tony's hand. "We need to go to the..."

Now Tony understood. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Maria squeezed Tony's hand tighter, "I am sure.

* * *

><p>Tony nervously gripped the steering wheel; Carol had reluctantly let him borrow her car, under the condidtion that he'd bring it back in one piece. Occasionally, Tony would glance over to the passanger seat where Maria was seated. She had her head rested on the window, her eyes focusing on the road. Every now and then she'd let out a little sigh. Tony placed a hand on her knee.<p>

"Don't worry; we're almost there," he said as he began to pull his hand away. Maria, however, had another idea. She took Tony's hand in her own clammy one.

"Tony I am scared."

"What are you scared for?" Tony asked, trying to hide his own fear.

Maria winced once again, her free hand falling to her stomach. "Everything," she said with complete honesty.

"Aw come on; for the past few weeks you couldn't wait for the baby to get here."

Maria sort of smiled. "Yes, but then I did not know...that..." She paused and squeezed Tony's hand tighter. "Tony, you are not allowed...to be with..with me when..."

"Maria, you're going to be fine."

"But what if I need you?"

Tony glanced over at Maria. Her eyes were wide and full of raw fear.

"Maria, you can do this." He paused, and squeezed Maria's hand tighter. "Aren't you the one who taught me that God never hands us things He knows we can't handle?"

"Yes, but..."

"Maria, you'll be _fine_. You're going to be fine, and so will our..."

"Daughter," Maria said in a quick breath before she winced again. Tony smiled.

"Yeah; she will."

* * *

><p>When Tony and Maria reached the hospital, Maria was quickly seatd in a wheelchair. As she was whisked down the hall, Maria turned her head and stole a final glance of Tony. His eyes had been wide, and he had mouthed "I love you." Maria had just nodded and turned back around.<p>

Now, Maria was in a sterile, whitewashed room, longing for somebody, _anybody_ to tell her everything was going to be okay. Most of all she wanted Tony, not the nurse and doctor whose words of "comfort" came in the form of things like, "It won't be too much longer"or things that were laced with medical terms Maria didn't understand. And the pain she was in wasn't helping either.

Maria screwed her eyes shut and let her head fall back onto the pillow. She blocked out the doctor and nurse's conversation, not even caring if one of them asked her something. she just wanted all of this - the pain, the confusion, the fear to be over. But the was eaiser said than done. She felt someone grab her hand, and then heard the doctor ask her something.

"Okay Maria?"

"Wha...wha..." Maria paused, suddenly feeling that dull pain work through her once again. It was now, that Maria knew what the doctor had asked her.

**~.~**

As Tony sat in the waiting room, he tried to remain calm; after all, he had been the one who told Maria that things were going to be okay. But now that he and Maria were apart, anxiety was sinking in. Part of him was starting to second guess all the hopes he had pinned to this moment. It was now, Tony was reminded of how young he and Maria were, and how neither of them really had no idea what to expect. In the eyes of soceity, they had no business rasing a child - and Tony was starting to believe that. He nervously played with his sweaty hands, catching the attention of another man seated in the waiting room.

"This your first kid?"

Tony glanced up. "Yeah."

"I can tell. The first one is always scary."

Tony knew he must of looked terrified by the look the man gave him.

"I mean the waiting part is scary; everything else is great," the man amended. For a moment the man watched Tony. He seemed out of place in a waiting room meant for fathers (who usually were older than the_...kid_ seated in front of him) anticipating the arrival of their new son or daughter. _"_Not to sound like your parents, but you're kind of young aren't you?"

Tony sort of smiled. "No, you don't sound like my parents. In fact my mother doesn't even know about the baby. Or Maria."

"Oh, I'm sorry; I shouldn't of asked," the man apologized.

"No, no it's fine. She doesn't know because Maria and I ran away and got married." Tony paused, realizing that wasn't the best choice of words either. "But I'm not saying the baby is why we got married; I love Maria, really, I do, but..." Tony, who now was just nervously rambling, sighed. "Let's just say it's a long story as to why my mother doesn't know."

The man smiled. Somehow, Tony felt as if this complete stranger understood him. "Can, can I ask you something?" Tony began.

"Sure; go right ahead."

Tony inhaled a deep breath before going on. "Do you think age is only a number?"

"Well," the man paused, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, "yeah. It's a number just like the date on the calendar; it's just there to help us keep track of things in life."

Tony took this in. As he tugged on the gold band around his finger, the man added something.

"Kids don't really give a damn about numbers, so I wouldn't worry too much."

Tony smiled. "Thanks. You know..."

"Excuse me?"

Both Tony and the man looked up. A doctor was standing in front of them. He smiled at the other man, and then looked at Tony. He didn't need to be told what the doctor was here to tell him.

"Is Maria okay?"

"She's tired, but other than that she's perfectly fine."

Tony breathed a small sigh of relief, but his fears weren't calmed just yet. "And the baby?"

The doctor smiled once again. "Healthy little girl."

A little girl. A little girl who would like the color pink, playing dress up, and who would need her daddy to chase away the monsters in her closet.

Tony quickly got up from his chair; right now only two people in the world mattered to him.

* * *

><p>Maria gazed down at her arms; she was somewhat unable to comprehend that the tiny child before her was hers. She had held plenty of babies, but <em>this <em>baby was hers; knowing that she didn't need to be given back made holding her all the more enjoyable.

Everything about the baby was so unbelievably beautiful that Maria didn't know what to call her present feeling. It was like awe and happiness and love all wrapped up together. It was a feeling Maria knew came from becoming a mother.

"I love you," Maria whispered as she ran a gentle finger down her daughter's face. All the while, Tony had been standing quietly unnoticed in the doorway. Maria's face was downwards, but he could see the up turned corners of her mouth perfectly. Part of him was content in just watching the scene before him; saying a word would break the innoncent beauty of the moment.

"Hey," he finally said. Maria looked up from the pink bundle in her arms. She smiled at Tony. He took that as a cue to move forward and after carefully sitting down at the foot of the bed, leaned in and kissed Maria.

"I'm proud of you," he whispered. "I wish I could of been there."

Maria smiled. "So do I."

Tony returned the smile, and after taking note of Maria's listless eyes, asked, "How you feeling?"

"Tired, but I feel better than I did awhile ago." Maria slightly adjusted her arms, her eyes looking downwards again. "Everything I went through to get here was worth it though," Maria said with a smile. She looked at Tony, and then back to her arms. "Do want to hold her?"

Tony drew back a bit. "I, I don't know Maria; she's so tiny."

"Oh Tony, you are not going to hurt her."

Tony liked to think otherwise. Maria looked so comfortable holding her, like it was nothing. He thought maybe it was just one of those things that mothers did better. But Tony didn't want to be one of those fathers who just blended into the background. He didn't want to be his own father. Tony wanted to be - or at least try to be - the best father he could. He wanted to give his little girl all the things in life he never had - a good father being one of them. Tony reluctantly extended his arms out towards Maria.

"Be careful with her head," she reminded him as she handed the baby off. Tony looked down to his stiff arms, not really knowing what to do. The baby remained still, her only movements being the rise and fall of her breathing. She was so small and delicate and not like anything Tony had every touched before. She was his.

"I guess she isn't going anywhere," he whispered, his arms slightly relaxing.

"See? There is nothing to be afraid of," Maria replied with a smile. She was glad to see Tony relaxing a bit.

"No, I guess not." Tony looked down at the baby, wondering what she would be like a few years from now. "I bet she'll be a real piece of work someday; with having parents who loved each other but didn't want anyone to know."

The baby moved her head, as if she was agreeing with Tony's prediction. He smiled, and took _her _small movement as an agreement as well. For awhile, neither Maria or Tony said a word; Maria was waiting for the right time to say the words resting on her lips.

"Maribel," she said in a single word.

"Huh?" Tony asked, not looking up.

"Maribel. I want to name her Maribel because...if my brother would of been a girl, that is what he would of been named."

Tony kept his eyes on the baby. Maribel, he thought. He liked it; it wasn't a long impossible to pronounce name, nor was it an overused name that twenty other girls would have.

"I like it," he said. "Maribel. Maribel..." Tony gave Maribel a long stare. To think that her very existance was because of a warm night in June. "June," Tony finally said.

"What?" Maria asked as she settled her head back onto the pillow. She was starting to realize how tired she was.

"Well, she needs a middle name too. And I was thinking June, because I met you in Ju...and that's kind of stupid, isn't it? Tony asked, turning a bit red at how cheesey he probably sounded. But Maria smiled.

"No; it is not. Not at all in fact." Maria yawned. She tried to keep her eyes open, but she was fighting a losing battle.

"Lets hope she likes it."

"Oh, I am sure she will," Maria said as she finally let her eyes close.

"Maria?" Tony asked. When she didn't answer, Tony took his gaze away from Maribel for a brief moment. "I love you," he said as he brushed a piece of stray hair from Maria's closed eyes. He then slowly got up from the bed and walked towards the window. He held Maribel's warm body close, as he realized his nervous feelings were no more. In fact, now Tony couldn't understand why he'd been so nervous about holding Maribel.

"Maribel I know you don't have a clue as to what I'm saying; you probably can't even hear me," Tony said to the sleeping baby. "But...I'm going to try to be a great dad. I can't promise I'll always be perfect - being perfect is boring anyway. You're lucky Maribel; you have a mother and a father who love each other a lot." Tony paused and ran a finger down the side of Maribel's face. "I love you Maribel."

It was in that moment, that Maribel's eyes slowly opened. Her wide, inonncent eyes that were not yet stained by reality met Tony's eyes that had seen so much. Tony smiled, because doing anything more complex just wouldn't of been right.


	12. I Still Can Recall

Hello my little lovelies! Sadly, we are slowly coming to an end of our little tale here. On a lighter note, I'm going out of town until next weekend so chapter thirteen will be delayed.

Anyone who knows me knows that I _love_ The Beatles. Needless to say, I couldn't get through this story without using one of my favorite Fab Four songs (my other favorite Beatles song is "Octopus's Garden", but for some reason I didn't think that would work) as inspiration. Edgar Allen Poe and Simon & Garfunkel also seemed to help me out a tad with this chapter. You're awesome if you know what I'm talking about. And through MTV I learned that there is a college in California whose classes revolve around how "awesome" pot is. Gotta love America.

Finally, much love and pot-free browines to my reviewers. Glad to have you back maddiekinzzz!

* * *

><p><strong>There are places I remember<strong>

**All my life, though some have changed**

**Some forever not for better**

**Some have gone and some remain**

**All these places had their moments**

**With lovers and friends, I still can recall**

**Some are dead and some are living**

**In my life I've loved them all**

**~"In My Life" by The Beatles**

* * *

><p>Maria looked up at Tony. He was pushing uneaten food around on his plate and staring at nothing.<p>

"Is everything fine?" Maria asked.

"What? Yeah; everything's great," Tony said as he took a bite of food. Maria watched him with wide eyes, running her finger over the top of her water glass as she did so.

"Are you sure?" Maria paused. "Everything is fine at work too?"

"Yeah. Maria I'm fine," Tony assured her.

But Maria knew better - she knew that something was bothering him; there were tell tale signs everywhere. The way he would quietly sit on the back porch at night, watching the early spring evening retreat back to chilly winter air. The only thing to keep him company on these evenings was the bowl on the step that had collected ashes and withered cigarette butts. If Maria didn't love Tony as much as she did, by now she would of thought that he was keeping something - or someone - from her.

Tony got up from the table and picked his plate up. As he sat it on the counter he said, "Maria I'm going out; I'll be back later."

"Oh. Okay." She watched as he counted the crumpled dollar bills he had pulled from his pocket. "Be careful."

Tony half-smiled. "Aren't I always?" Before leaving, he returned to the table and left Maria with a soft kiss on the lips. "I'll try to not be too late."

The last time he told her that all hell broke loose; were they headed for troubled water again?

"I love you," she said. Those three words seemed to mean so much more than they usually did.

"I love you too. You don't have to wait up for me," Tony called as he walked out the door.

Maria sank back into her chair. That was a new phrase to her ears.

* * *

><p>After walking for what seemed like forever, Tony eventually found himself in part of town he'd never been to before - yet it all seemed so familiar. The gray hued buildings that ran together, the feeling as though there was no hope in tomorrow being brighter. It was like he was back in the city again. Tony and Maria had lived here for almost a year, and he didn't know that part of what he'd left behind was so close. He sank to the curb and looked across the street. The neon sign for a bar room spilled plastic light onto the street, making Tony feel even more as if he was back in the city.<p>

He suddenly felt nervous all over and quickly reached into his pocket. After counting out his money again, he got up from the curb, and began on his walk again. Tony crossed the street and for a brief moment stood in the glow of the bar room sign. He'd only ever tasted beer once, maybe twice - at Riff's suggestion no doubt. It was one of those teenage rebellions Riff had said everyone tries at one point in their life. Just like cigarettes and sex. And gangs. Perhaps that last one was both of them. Tony clenched his fists up and continued on his walk. Upon seeing the sign for a corner drug store - another reminder of his old life - Tony stepped inside.

"Evening," a tired-looking man called from behind the counter.

"Evening," Tony replied as he sat his money on the counter. "Can I have a pack of those?" Tony gestured to the cigarettes behind the man.

"Sure." After briskly picking up Tony's money, the man eyed him. "Never seen you here; just move in?" he asked, making sure Tony hadn't short changed him.

"No. I live across town."

"I see. Bet you think you're somthing pretty special for living there and not in the shit hole part of town."

As Tony lit a cigarette, he looked up. "Not really. My wife just had a baby so..."

"Wait, wait_; you're_ married? Damn, kids do everything earlier now. In my day you'd never hear of _kids _being married and having their own kids. It's almost just as bad as all that gang shit the city has to deal with."

"What?" Tony asked, suddenly feeling very nervous.

"Yeah; everyday I open that damn paper and there's something new about those gang wars. I'll tell you what it is: it's all those Puerto Ricans fault."

"Well, wouldn't you say a war has two sides?"

"Hell yeah, but those PRs didn't have to move here, now did they?"

"I, I guess not. But you can't blame it all on them," Tony argued. His life in the city was showing up everywhere tonight. "The other side doesn't _have _to fight back you know. And the Puerto Ricans didn't move here just to cause issues for the Je...other gangs."

"Believe whatever you want, but I blame those PRs."

Tony took a drag of his cigarette. As he exhaled a puff of smoke, he felt sick. This man didn't know what all he had seen - and done - in his eighteen years.

"Blame leads to hate," Tony quietly and finally said. But he soon found out he hadn't said it quietly enough.

"What would you know?" the man asked. He rested his elbows on the counter. "You're what? Seventeen? Eighteen? I'm going to tell you something kid: grow up a little before you start preaching about serious shit like gang wars."

That was it. Tony crushed his cigarette between his fingers, blistering the tips with still warm ashes.

"Look, I know you think that I'm just some dumb kid who screwed up big time and was forced into taking on things that I shouldn't be doing. I won't lie, I've screwed up. And I'm also not lying when I say I _know _what comes from gang wars."

The man shook his head. "All you kids are the same if you ask me."

Tony gave up on trying to get the man to see otherwise and headed for the door. As he gripped the door handle, he glanced over his shoulder. It was scary how this incident mirrored so many other things he had seen before.

* * *

><p>When Tony returned home, he found Maria upstairs. She was slowly pacing the length of their bedroom, rocking Maribel to sleep as she did so. With a towel draped over her shoulder and an empty bottle on the nightstand, Maria projected a far different image than she had on that dance floor last summer.<p>

"You are a pretty girl Maribel. _Muy bonita_," Maria whispered with a smile.

"Just like your mother. And someday, your daddy will have to chase off all the boys who like pretty girls like you," Tony said as he came up behind Maria. "Isn't that right Maribel?"

Maria smiled at him. "We have a while for that though," she said as she peered down at Maribel who was on the fringe of dreamland. They had a _very_ long time until those sorts of things started. "How was your walk?"

Tony shoved his hands into his pockets. "Good." He watched Maria was she continued rocking Maribel to sleep. "Hey Maria?"

"Yes?"

"Uh...do you...do you still think about what we left behind?"

Maria froze, causing Maribel to let out a little whimper. "I suppose...yes and no. Why?"

Tony took a seat on the edge of bed. He knew this shouldn't be an issue anymore. He was married, had a child, had a decent job, and he and Maria were starting to set aside money to someday buy a house of their own. His past faults shouldn't mean anything. But for some reason, Tony couldn't shake these thoughts from his mind.

"I don't know Maria. I mean...I look around at all that's happened in the last year, and it's all stuff my mom always hoped I'd do. And now that I've done it, I feel like...I owe her something. It'll soon be a year, a _year_ since she's seen me or heard from me."

Maria adjusted Maribel so that her head was rested on her shoulder. As she gently rubbed Maribel's back, she looked at Tony.

"When Maribel was born I thought that maybe I could finally look ahead, and not think so much about the past. But just the opposite of that happened. I think about my family more than I ever did."

"Exactly. It's not like we could go back; at least not at this point in time."

Maria nodded in agreement. She too believed it would be too much to return home without explaining...everything to her family. This thought gave Maria an idea. When Maribel's breathing shifted to the pattern of sleep, Maria gently placed her in her crib. After lightly kissing the baby's forehead, Maria looked up at Tony.

"We need to let them know that we are okay."

**~.~**

Long after Maria had fallen asleep, Tony lie awake watching the shadows dance across the ceiling. It had been raining for the past half hour; the rain hitting the window and the ticks of the clock on the nightstand had blurred their rhythmic beats together, giving Tony a sort of unsettled feeling. Tony knew in another half hour Maribel would wake up, and Maria would find him staring absent-mindedly at the pictures the shadows made in his mind only.

Tony felt Maria move and then relax again as she readjusted her head back onto his shoulder. This was where he belonged - not fighting under a highway or cold in a hospital mourge; his place was here, on Earth, with Maria and Maribel far away from the city. But Tony's memories hung over him like a cloud of smog. A thick, choaking cloud of smog that showed no sign of letting up anytimy soon. Or was he wrong? Perhaps Maria was right; perhaps letting the ones whom they left behind know that they were okay would relieve Tony of the internal unrest he felt.

He breathed a sigh of relief. He ran a gentle hand over Maria's hair before giving way to sleep.

* * *

><p>"Here goes nothing."<p>

Tony opened up the mailbox's mouth and fed the metal contraption two letters. After he had closed it and released his grasp from the handle, Maria looked up at him.

"I guess now we just wait." She paused and after adjusting Maribel, let Tony take her hand. "Like everything in life."

Tony squeezed her hand. "But sometimes it's good to wait; waiting brings surprises."

"Is that what you truly believe?"

"Yeah," he paused and looked from Maria to Maribel, "I do."


	13. Repent All Your Sin

Gah, I'm so sorry for taking so long to update! This chapter will be _very_ different from the others. I wrote the chapter in the manner I did for not only creative reasons, but also for a look at things in a different light. I hope you all enjoy and may the universe sprinkle you in its moondust my lovely reviewers (sorry, Iwait4theRain and I are stoaked because next weekend is the Woodstock anniversery).

Speaking of Iwait4theRain: credit goes to her for naming and "creating" Maria's parents; thanks amiga!

* * *

><p><strong>This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin<strong>

**Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in**

**Now you're outside me, you see all the beauty**

**Repent all your sin**

**It's nothing but time and a face that you lose**

**I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose**

**I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news**

**From a house down the road, from real love**

**~"Your Ex-Lover is Dead" by Stars**

* * *

><p>Anita slowly opened up the mailbox, and after sorting through bills, advertisements, and a catalog intended for the previous tenants, Anita's heart stopped; at the bottom of the pile was an envelope with an all too familiar name as the return address. She practically ran up the stairs to the apartment she now shared with Maria's parents. The envelope was quickly torn open, revealing a letter and a picture of a baby in between the folded paper. As Anita's eyes scanned across the dainty handwriting, she knew who wrote it.<p>

It almost pained Anita to read through the obviously well-thought out letter; she knew that despite how sorry Maria expressed herself to be, her parents (her father mostly) would never feel the same way:

_To the ones I love,_

_Hello. I know it has been a long time. I am sorry if I caused you all to worry, but let this letter be proof that I am well. Please let me explain my actions: I fell in love with a boy different than me, and because of that, we were forced to keep our love a secret. We chose to love each other in a world that just would not let us; running away was the only thing we could do to be together. I am sorry for any pain I may have caused to you, Anita, and Chino. But sometimes we must listen to our hearts and not question the feelings and thoughts that come from it._

_I love all of you, but I also love Tony. And yes, he is the one who killed Bernardo. And yes, Anita knows. And she is fine with it; I hope you can be too. I love him, he loves me, and we both love our beautiful daughter Maribel very much. But I also love all of you very much. Which is why I pray that you can see past what was and live for only now. And if you do not do it for me, then please, please do it for Maribel. _

_Time is meant to be good for a hurting heart; is that true? I like to think it is. It has been a nearly year since Bernardo's death. Has that been long enough for you to forgive me? Because I forgave you both for not understanding what I did months ago. Only, I never had the heart, and maybe I was even a bit scared, to send any forgiveness. But when Maribel was born, it was like a fresh start - I knew that it was also the right time to say, "I am sorry". Because I truly am._

_I know that what I have done is a dishonor to not only you, but Bernardo and Chino as well. But when you love someone you make choices that are not always easy; which is what I did and what Anita did. She found room in her heart to forgive me for the many sins I committed. I have proof that God has forgiven me - Maribel surely is a blessing from God. Now, can you find the heart to forgive me?_

_Love always,_

_Maria_

Anita glanced down at the letter and saw it was dotted with tears; she watched as the salty drops smeared and skewed Maria's words. Part of her wanted to rip the letter up and throw it from the window, letting the wind take care of its remains. Part of her wanted to hide away the picture of Maribel so as not to bring even more pain upon Maria's parents. But part of her also knew that her parents deserved to know about Maria; _she is their daughter after all_, Anita supposed.

Maria was also Anita's friend, and Anita knew that Maria had sent this letter now for a reason. Maria knew that it was time her parents were brought out of the dark. Anita wasn't quite ready - and didn't know if she'd ever - to tell anyone what had happened to her that night. But Maria's letter and the picture of Baby Maribel were the cornerstones in connecting the dots of that somewhat confusing night.

**~.~**

Across the city, a woman also received an envelope. She finally could be lifted of the fear that her only son wasn't in trouble - or worse. Her envelope contained a note that simply read: _I found a way out. Isn't that what you always wanted me to do? _There was also a picture inside the envelope. It was of a baby; a baby with bright eyes and a wide, toothless smile. The picture explained why her son just up and left her: he'd fallen in love. He grew up and found a new girl to be the light of his life.

She pictured the girl her son had met as striking blonde with big blue eyes; just like one of those pretty girls from the movies. But she knew that the baby had gotten what little hair she had from her daddy: dark, wispy curls that fell down around her eyes. Her eyes, the woman thought; the black and white picture left it up to her as to what color they were. With that, the woman decided that maybe it didn't matter what the baby's mother looked like. What was most important to her was that her son had found a way out. The picture she cradled in her hands was proof that her son had finally given up his time fighting in the streets for something _much _better.

The woman held the picture out in front of her. No, she decided. It didn't really matter what her granddaughter's mother looked like. She helped her son see the light, and that was beautiful in itself.

* * *

><p>The letter and the picture sat side-by-side on the kitchen table. Anita stared at them both absent mindedly; she didn't dare say a word now. She could feel guilt building up inside; guilt from not telling Maria's parents sooner, and making them have to find out what went on behind all the smoke and mirrors like this.<p>

Anita finally glanced up from the table, her eyes watching Maria's father as he read over the letter again and again. Occasionally he would glance over the picture and just shake his head, wondering where on Earth he'd gone wrong. She then turned to Maria's mother, whose eyes had a glassy look to them. She lifted the picture of Maribel from the table and smiled at Anita.

"She is beautiful, _sí_?"

"Yes, very." Anita looked up again, and upon seeing the look on Maria's father's face, made a silent exit. After she was gone, Maria's father, Miguel, threw the letter back on the table.

"At least we know she is not hurt," Miguel said for a lack of anything better to say. "And here I thought coming to America would bring nothing but happiness to us. Was I wrong, Carlotta?"

"Miguel please," Carlotta sighed as she rubbed her fingers on her temples. After all those months, her anger for Maria had changed to hope. She liked to believe Maria was someplace where she was safe, and far away from all the ugly pain that the city caused. She also liked to believe that Maria was happy, and had found that glazed over pristine version of America all of them had been promised a year ago.

"_Dios Mio _Carlotta! Do you hear yourself? Maria ran away with an _American_, who is also murderer - her _brother's _murderer - and had a _child _with him! How are we even to know that the are married and not just..."

"I am sure that Maria and this boy are very happy together," Carlotta uttered in a bitter tone. "That is all I care about now; that Maria is happy."

Miguel looked at his wife, almost disgusted at how starry-eyed she was about the thought of having a granddaughter. And his discontent went far beyond the fact that Maria, his little Maruca, had run off with some American boy. It was the fact that this boy had convinced her he could make everything better, and he then ended up _killing_ Maria's own brother. He then continued to blind Maria by claiming that what they shared was love. And not just puppy love, but _true love_. Maribel was obviously Miguel's proof that Maria had bought into that (in his opinion) misguided boy's sick claim. This boy had tarnished his innoncent daughter.

He then furthered in feeding Maria his toxic love potion by telling her they could be happy. Miguel knew better; a pair like them could never be happy in the world such as the one they lived in - no matter how far away from the city they were. Miguel snatched the picture from Carlotta's hands, holding it up as if to emphasize how angry she should be about all of this.

"This child's father is a murderer! Her father killed _your _son, and Maria sees no wrong in this!"

"Maria is happy. That is more important than my own happiness."

"Carlotta do you honestly believe that? That the two of them are truly happy?"

"Yes Miguel, I do. And I find it sad that you are as small minded as those boys who killed our son. What does it matter what this boy looks like? Maria loves him and is happy; what is so wrong with that?"

Miguel pounded his fist onto the kitchen table, causing Carlotta's coffee mug to spill over. There were so many twisted things in what Carlotta had just said that Miguel spit out the first words that came to mind.

"What about Anita? What about _her _happiness?"

"Miguel, Anita and Maria are friends; Maria said herself that they had reached an understanding. And Anita let go of that night when Carlos was born! Why can you not let go too?"

Miguel gaped at Carlotta in disbelief. He couldn't understand how the same woman before him now, was the same woman who had cried for months about her dead son and the pain of trying to accept what Maria had done.

"What about those months _after _that night? While you cried for months, Maria…Maria got herself into this!" Miguel flashed his wife the picture of Maribel. "Imagine the sort of life that this child will have! Imagine the sort of life _Maria _will have raising a child like this!"

"Miguel do not bring that baby into this."

Got herself into this. A child like this; those words made Carlotta cringe. It was like her husband was calling Maribel a mistake or an accident or some sort of curse upon the family. She was just a baby with no prior knowledge of the circumstances she was born into - other than that she had two parents who loved her. And that was all that mattered. Carlotta took the picture from Miguel and smoothed out the edges that had been wrinkled. The smile the child wore was so painfully familiar.

"Miguel like it or not, this baby is family. And I do not want this child to be the reason why you choose to stay angry at Maria, _your _child."

* * *

><p>"Did you know?"<p>

Anita froze as she crept into the dimly lit living room. Once her eyes adjusted, she saw Carlotta seated on the couch.

"Did, did I know what?" Anita asked, feigning ignorance.

"Oh Anita, you know what I mean."

Anita sighed, knowing there was no way to get out of telling her now. After sitting down on the couch and a moment of awkward silence, Anita spoke.

"Yes, I did know; I knew about everything. Oh but _Señora, _Maria made me promise not to tell," Anita managed to say. She shuddered, thinking back to her and Tony's agreement. "Please do not be angry at me."

"_Querida _do not be upset; you were only being a loyal friend to Maria."

"_Sí_, but I am the reason you cried for all those months."

Carlotta gazed at Anita's young face. She always got the feeling that Anita knew more about Maria's whereabouts than she left on. But she had never pressed for anything; Carlotta knew that in time Anita would be willing to share.

"Anita, I am just happy to know that Maria is safe; that is why I cried for all those months. I was worried about her; just as you were."

"I was not worried. I knew that they…"

Carlotta cupped Anita's chin in her hand, smiling a bit. "Oh Anita, do not lie to me; you were _very _worried about them."

Anita smiled too, knowing she couldn't lie. "Yes. I _was_ very worried. But now I am not."

"That is good to hear. Because I know my Maria, and she would not want you to be worried about her. You have your own things to worry about now."

Almost as if on cue, a baby began to cry from down the hall. Before she left, Carlotta asked Anita one final question.

"Tell me, Anita; did you ever meet this boy?" she almost whispered as she ran her fingers over the edge of the coffee table. The coffee table that had come all the way from San Juan. The coffee table that still had the remnants of long ago spills. Maria. Bernardo. Carlotta couldn't help but wonder where the time had all gone.

"I did." Anita paused, her mouth forming into a small smile. "And he seemed very nice. I am sure he is taking very good care of Maria and your granddaughter."

Carlotta smiled as well, and once Anita had disappeared down the hall, crept to mantle. The picture had been carefully tucked in between one of Maria and Bernardo, taken at a much more innoncent time of their lives, and another of a baby boy.

"Someday we will all meet each other," she whispered to the pictures. "Someday. Somehow. Somewhere."

**~.~**

And miles away from the city, two other people thought the same thing. They were spread out on a blanket with a beautiful image of themselves soundly asleep between them. A warm breeze of late April blew across them, a reminder that another summer and all of the balmy things it brings was on its way. But of course, this summer would be nothing like the last summer the two of them shared; nothing could compare to the summer when you first taste love.

As Maria ran her fingers over the virgin grass, not yet disrupted by the clamor of a lawn mower, she asked,"Do you think they got our letters?" She stared up to the sky, thinking back to the first time she saw the stars beyond the city limits. She felt Tony squeeze her hand.

"I think they did. And soon, we'll all be able to see each other again."


	14. We'll Have Love

Hello Starshine! This chapter is posted in celebration of the Aquarian exposition that took place this weekend back in the summer of love, the summer of 1969. So follow your hearts, dance with of Mother Nature, and let the music take control of your spirit.

Sorry; my inner hippie, whom Iwait4theRain (I mean Moondance) and I have kindly named Moonbeam, took over for a brief moment. It is in fact the Woodstock anniversery weekend; Moondance and I are celebrating, all are welcome to join us. ANYWAY, this is the second to last chapter of ANWOL, which means next update will be curtain call. Expect lots of love in next week's author's notes. Finally, you MUST listen to the song I used for this chapter, because just reading a few lyrics will not give you the same effect as hearing it for yourself. I also think I'm addicted to Metro Mint Water.

Thank you to my lovely cosmic children for the reviews; told you I'd come up with a nickname for you guys.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't you turn around, <strong>**have faith in what you choose**

'**Cause life can sense your attitude; ****I don't know how**

**You've got to realize ****that hope looks in your eyes**

**If you look away it flies; ****lets look forward**

**If you still believe ****that things are going to be**

**Like we hoped they'd be, t****hen we'll have love**

**~"Something's Going to Come" by Adem**

* * *

><p>Maria inhaled the fresh summer air, forgetting about the scar that this particular day was marked with. Maribel happily cooed inside her stroller, as she too was enjoying the walk that she and her mother were on. When they round the corner, Maria paused. A little girl and boy whom Maria assumed was the girl's brother were joyously running around their yard while being chased by a fluffy dog. One of the children would occasionally yell something to the other, their innocent laughter filling the air.<p>

The sight made Maria's heart ache; today of all days she had to be forced to see a loving brother-sister relationship much like the one she once knew. The little girl stopped running when she took notice of Maria. She waved a hand and showed off her gap-toothed smile.

"Hi!"

Maria couldn't help but smile back. "Hello."

The girl looked up at Maria with wide eyes. She made a motion towards the stroller. "You gotta cute baby," she said with sincerity that could only come from a child. "What's her name?"

Before Maria could answer, the girl's brother paused in the middle of the yard and yelled, "Claire get over here! You know Mom doesn't like you talkin' to strangers!"

The girl frowned before turning away from the fence. "Don't tell me what to do Tommy! I'm big enough to do what I want! You're _so_ annoying!"

Maria watched the girl stomp off towards to her brother. Hearing those words brought back memories for Maria; she recalled a time when she found her own brother a bit annoying. She knew that Bernardo meant well; he was afraid that those Americans (namely the American boys), would try to mess with her. But Maria couldn't blame him; the only American boys Bernardo ever knew were against him; Bernardo was _killed_ by one of them. Tony.

Maria often thought of what her brother would think of Tony. He treated her well, never would do anything to hurt her, and loved her until the ends of the Earth. She smiled in knowing that Bernardo had more in common with Tony than he probably thought he did. _Maybe, just maybe, if Bernardo could hove seen those similarities a year ago_, Maria thought, _he would be here today._ If all those boys could've seen what they had in common, both Bernardo and Riff would be here today. But then again, if Bernardo was still here, Maria knew that she might not be where she presently was in life. Sure, the Jets and the Sharks could of learned to get along, but that wasn't a gurantee that Bernardo would of allowed for Maria to further a relationship with Tony; he was the one who wanted her to marry Chino after all. But Chino was... he wasn't the one she loved. He wasn't Maribel's father. He wasn't...he wasn't Tony.

Everything about today was all a beautiful mess Maria decided; a beautiful mess that left some happy, some unhappy, and others just confused. Maribel began to fuss in her stroller, prompting Maria to remove herself from thoughts of the past. Maria looked up again; the little girl and her brother had gone inside and their dog lay spread out in the grass, napping in the late afternoon sun. She bent down the slightest, talking to Maribel in a soft voice.

"Come on Maribel, lets go home."

**~.~**

By the time Maria had reached home, the picture perfect sky had begun to turn gray.

"We got home just in time Maribel," Maria said as she sat down at the table and prepared to give Maribel her bottle. "After I put you down for a nap, I will have to…"

Maria stopped when a knock came at the door. She slowly got up from the table, balancing Maribel in one arm and holding the bottle in her other hand.

"Oh, hello Carol," Maria said when she reached the door. "I thought Tony already gave you the rent. If he did not, I think we have at least half of..."

"I'm not here to collect rent." Carol silenced the young girl, even if she was right about Tony not paying their rent yet; but that was another issue all together. "Your mail got mixed in with mine again. I have it right here," Carol said flatly; she always found it difficult to talk to Maria. In fact for awhile, Carol was convinced Maria didn't understand English. But after much forced small talk, she learned otherwise. Still, Carol never enjoyed talking to her; Carol viewed her conversations with Maria (and sometimes Tony) more as a chore.

"Thank you." Maria opened for the door slightly and took the mail from Carol. As she tucked the mail under her other arm, she glanced up. "Would you like to come in?"

Carol raised an eyebrow at Maria. "Uh, I really should…"

"Oh come on; I made lemonade earlier today."

Maria held the door open wider. Carol sighed, seeing there was no way for her to get out of this. She slowly followed Maria inside and took a seat at the well-cleaned kitchen table. After sitting the mail on the counter, Maria shifted Maribel once again.

"How old is she?" Carol asked in an attempt to produce small talk.

Maria beamed at her daughter. "Three months. I swear she gets bigger everyday."

Carol forced a smile. She was eagerly waiting for Maria to take the pitcher out of the refrigerator, pour her a glass of lemonade, and then she could be on her way. But as Carol watched the young girl struggle with balancing a pitcher of lemonade in her hand, and also try to hold a fussy baby, she knew it was going to be awhile.

"Can I help you with something?" Carol asked quickly, internally telling herself she offered to help simply so that she could be on her way faster. Maria looked up at her with wide, somewhat confused, eyes.

"Sure. Here, you can take Maribel." Maria slowly handed the baby off to Carol. "Hold her like this, supporting her head. Make sure you keep the bottle like this when you feed her. Oh, and then you will need this," Maria said as she removed the towel draped over her shoulder and placed it on Carol's. "Whenever Maribel is done with her bottle, just put her over your shoulder and gently pat her back."

Carol nodded and robotically went through the motions of Maria's instructions. Although she'd put in a few years as a nanny, babies, and children as a whole, were something Carol never took to. They were just little humans who would someday be as old as she was; it never clicked with Carol why people found them so captivating. Carol looked down to her arms. Maribel had managed to wrap her tiny hand around her wrist, the sight catching Maria's attention as she closed the refrigerator door.

"She likes you," Maria noted as she pulled two glasses out of the cabinet. Carol, however, was indifferent.

"Kids this age like anyone; they don't know any better."

"I would not say that." Maria smiled as she poured lemonade into the glasses. "You should see her at church when the old ladies take turns holding her."

"Well then you must not of given them all the instructions you gave me," Carol replied. No maternal intuitions Maria claimed to be correct would sway her opinion. Carol's opinion was that Maria was still a child herself, and wasn't old enough to grasp grown up concepts like, well, parenting.

"Believe what you wish, but _I _believe that Maribel likes you."

Carol let out a grumble under her breath. A few moments of silence passed, leaving Carol to wonder if the reason Maria and Tony lived together…or got married, or whatever Tony meant that morning when he called Maria more than his girlfriend, was nestled in her arms. Certainly she thought marriages such as theirs (if they were married), wouldn't be aloud. And if they were…well then Carol knew she must of missed something in the paper or on the news.

"Here you go." Maria presented a glass of lemonade in front of Carol before taking a seat herself.

"Tony and I have started saving money for a house," Maria began. "You have been very good to us, but we do not want to stay here forever. And I have a feeling Maribel will not always be an only child. Sometimes I think Tony gets more excited about having another child than I do. He really loves Maribel, and he is such a good fath…"

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Carol interjected upon hearing enough of Maria and Tony's castle-in-the-air plans.

"What?"

"Lemonade, letting me feed your kid, and then this; talking to me like I'm your best friend. Why?"

Maria shrugged. "I treat you no different than I do everyone else."

Carol was dumbfounded. For nearly a year, she'd been downright…rude to Maria, all because Carol viewed the young girl as different, perhaps even below her; these feelings came from nothing more than the mere fact that Maria happened to be born a few thousand miles away and a few shades darker. And Maribel, a living, breathing representation of what happens when two people decided to be color blind, made Carol think that maybe she too could learn to become indifferent to skin color. She guiltily traced a finger over the top of her lemonade glass - which she had to admit, was pretty good.

"My daddy didn't take too kindly to people who were colored differently. So I guess I should blame him for being so awful to you; kids learn everything from their parents after all. You never really did anything; I was just being my old stubborn self."

Maria cracked a smile; she would agree as well that Carol could be stubborn - of course Maria wasn't going to vocalize that she agreed.

"Yes, you are right; children do learn from their parents. Which is why my parents raised my brother and myself to turn the other way when mean things were said to us." Maria looked to Carol's arms and guided her hands in the proper way to burp a baby.

"Of course, when we came to America, my brother, and at times my father, forgot that. But I did not forget. And I wish to raise Maribel the same way. Because," Maria paused, pushing some tears from her eyes, "life is too short to be wasted on things like hate."

Carol didn't know what stale feelings this conversation had stirred up, but she got the vibe that they weren't good ones. Maria fingered the hem of her dress, making her look like a fidgety child.

"Well, your daddy and brother will just have to learn that I guess, huh?"

Maria let out a strangled breath, like the sound one would make as they were drowning. "My father can still learn. My brother, however…he cannot. Because he _did _learn how short life can be."

Carol felt her face flush. "Oh, I see. I'm sorry if…"

"No, it is fine. Bernardo…he knew what was right; he just did some foolish things."

"We all think at the drop of a hat sometimes," Carol said. Maria tilted her head off to the side, indicating she wasn't following Carol.

"Everyone has times when they think too quickly; even the best of us."

"Of course. And my brother _was _a good person. Just sometimes…" Maria trailed off. She looked at Maribel; was Maribel's existence the result of thinking too quickly? Maria never thought of this before: she and Tony never really well…_planned _to have Maribel, she just sort of happened. Maria and Tony accepted Maribel's existence with open arms, realizing in hindsight that yes, maybe they had thought (and moved) too quickly. But Maribel was a good thing; she was a happy, wonderful thing. The death of Bernardo and the death of Riff weren't good things, which made this day all the more confusing to Maria. This whole day was splattered with the effects of thinking too quickly - effects good and bad.

"My brother died a year ago today," Maria said. "It was very unexpected."

Before speaking, Carol chose her words wisely; it wouldn't do her any good in her efforts to be nice to Maria by being insensitive at a time like this.

"Most young deaths are unexpected."

"Yes, but his was _very _unexpected." If only Carol knew exactly how Bernardo died; Maria bet she'd find it unexpected too. "His death…it was over something silly, really. And he could of prevented it too. And…and he knew he could have. But he chose not to."

Maria looked at Maribel's wide eyes that still had so much to see and sighed. "My brother could of done wonderful things. He had so much in front of him. But he wasted those chances over something silly."

Carol, who, even with her rough edges, certainly wasn't going to ask Maria to elaborate on the details of her brother's untimely death. It was obvious it still struck a tiny heartstring with the young girl.

"But look at what you chose to do," Carol began. "You chose to do something good and move on. I'm sure your brother would be very proud of you." Carol knew that Maria probably had heard this same, tired advice before, which was why Carol didn't know why she was telling Maria these things. Carol knew it sure as hell didn't help _her_ when someone whom she loved passed away.

"People who've never lost anyone don't know what it's like. Maria, when my husband died three years ago, I can't tell you how many people told me, 'It'll be okay' or 'He's in a better place'. People who've never felt loss think that we're weak." Here, Carol paused. She looked down to her arms, which now held a sleeping Maribel. "But we're not weak. No, people who've felt loss are the real strong ones. Because we _know _what it means to loose. And we also know how to look onward and live for the future."

The real strong ones. Maria liked being deemed that title. That title also belonged to Tony, Anita, her parents, Riff's loved ones, and anyone else who was effected by the rippling events of that night. They were the ones who had faith in tomorrow, who lived with hope, and who knew that even after a great loss, life goes on.

Maria, who never expected to hear this sort of advice from Carol, smiled.

"I know you said you had to get home, but it is raining. Perhaps you should just wait the storm out here?"

Carol returned the smile, pushing her empty glass towards Maria. "Only if you give me more of that lemonade."

* * *

><p>Tony traced his fingers up the length of Maria's bare arms and let them rest on the top of the sheet lackadaisically strewn across her. Before repeating the motion over again, he let his fingers take a detour through Maria's hair. One thing Tony never tired of was letting Maria know that he loved her, even if it was just in a small way.<p>

"What are you doing?" Maria asked when she felt part of the sheet give way.

"Nothing; just remembering."

Maria smiled. "I thought you said you would never forget last summer?"

Tony nudged Maria lightly. "I'm not, don't worry. It's just nice to…recall things sometimes."

"Recall things?" Maria teasingly asked as she joined her hands with Tony's. "See, to _me_ recalling means that you _will_ forget."

"I'm not going to forget!" Tony paused, staring into Maria's dark eyes. Out of all the girls (all not being many) that had gone in and out of his life, Tony was glad Maria was the one who stuck around. "Believe me, I'm not."

"Good." Maria settled her head against Tony's chest and sighed. "Because you are in charge of telling Maribel how we met."

Tony laughed; Maria didn't realize how relevant her joke actually was. All day, Tony's mind replayed what had taken place a year ago: during dinner, Tony couldn't stop grinning at Maria like a dork because he could only picture her in that yellow dress and bridal veil. When the evening news had come on, at first Tony hadn't really listened, but instead chatted with Maria as she folded laundry and went on about what cute thing Maribel had done. However, when the news turned to talk of the turmoil in Vietnam, Tony remembered that he too had once been a soldier - perhaps a soldier more of the vigilante variety, but a soldier none the less; a soldier with a war story he was as well.

Then, when Tony had come upstairs, ready to go to bed and forget about this day, he found Maria seated on their bed. Her head had been bowed and hands folded, making him think of how he found her that night: crumpled up and shaken. Tony thought of what he'd told her, what he'd promised her, and what he gave her. And now, as he and Maria lay with their arms and legs tangled up in the sheets, Tony thought about what had come after all the words of comfort. What had come after was perhaps the most important thing from that night; it was proof that Maria would always love him - no matter what.

"Tony?" Maria asked, her voice sounding light like a summer breeze.

"Yeah?"

Maria lifted her head so that she could see Tony properly.

"A lot has happened in the last year; we have grown up, and we, as in you and I and what we share has changed. We have also learned that we will not always get along with each other." Here she paused to trace a slender finger down Tony's face. "Maribel happened."

Tony smiled at Maria. He brought a hand to cheek and lightly pinched it. "Is this rambling part of some really well-thought out idea?"

"Stop it!" she said, giving Tony a well-natured shove. "What I am saying is: even through all of that, we still had love."

Tony smiled. "You bet we did."

Tony pulled Maria closer so that their hearts could hear each other, so that their breathing became harmonious. And as time passed, Tony thought of all the ones who, if he were to tell them the story of how he and Maria met, then ran away to marry, and how they still were in love to this day, well, Tony bet that they'd find him insane. Perhaps he was insane, but Tony knew one thing: if insanity makes you happy, he wanted to be insane his whole life.


	15. But You Are Standing

Sigh. Here it is: the final chapter of ANWOL. Gah...I don't even know where to start. Uh...GAH! I'M JUST AS UPSET AS ALL OF YOU GUYS ARE! Seriously; when I posted this all the way back in May, I honestly didn't think so many people would enjoy it. Thank you tons to anyone who ever reviewed or read. I love ya'll for the support you sent my way, and the universe shall thank you for your kindness. :3 I really did enjoy writing this story and I'm glad that you and I could share the enjoyment. In other news, I'm thinking about becoming a vegetarian, I got my hair cut, I start my senior year of high school next week, and a string popped off my guitar, so now I have no way to get my angry feelings out. :(

The song I used for this chapter is like...nothing I ever heard before. It has that bright happy ending vibe to it, so I thought it fit well for the last chapter. The title, "Hoppipolla" is Icelandic for "jumping into puddles", which I thought to be sort of a metaphor for life...my mind works in strange ways. After I found out what the title translated to, I was curious as to what the lyrics translated to; wow is all I have to say. They sound pretty in Icelandic, and are even more pretty when you know what they mean. All in all, I'd check the song out if I were you.

Thank you for everything; here's to the bittersweet end and to the beautiful future. Lots of love, lovelylittleflowerchild.

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><p><strong>Smiling<strong>

**Spinning round and round**

**Holding hands**

**T****he whole world a blur**

**But you are standing**

**~"Hoppípolla" by Sigur Ros**

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><p>When Tony awoke the following morning, he first looked to his left. Maria was still asleep, her hands drawn up close to her face and her dark hair spread across the crisp blue pillow. The curtains were still drawn, allowing only the most curious of sun rays to catch a glimpse of the room. The rays danced across Maria's face, making her look like an art piece under a spotlight. Tony sat with his back against the headboard, watching Maria as she remained lost in wherever sleep took her. Tony had decided long ago that Maria always looked most beautiful in the early morning dawn; she carried the hope and warmth of a new day with her always and never failed to disappoint, just like the sunrise, but better. Tony slowly extended a hand but then drew it back; he decided against it, knowing that Maria was a light sleeper (and because he didn't want to ruin the beauty of the moment). Instead, he slowly crept out of bed and left Maria alone; it was a Saturday after all. Tony saw no need to be in a hurry on this day.<p>

Tony padded across the floor, carefully avoiding the creaky floorboards, and paused in front of the dresser. His wallet, Maria's cross necklace, pictures of Maribel, loose change, and a variety of other items cluttered the top; why Tony found this array of…stuff comforting was beyond him. Perhaps this stuff was like a collage of all he and Maria shared. He knew if he looked hard enough, he'd find the stubs of his and Maria's bus tickets in the box that housed important papers; Tony knew that Maria liked to save everything, no matter how mundane it may seem. 'Someday, when you are old and cannot remember what we did when we were young, you will thank me,' Maria had said to Tony not too long ago. He had smiled then, and he smiled now.

He continued across the floor and into hall. As Tony passed the room where Maribel now slept, he immediately felt the urge to check and make sure she was okay; some may call that urge a sixth sense, but Tony called it love for his child. He peered into her crib, and found two wide awake eyes looking back at him.

"Maribel, what are you doing up?" he asked in mock disapproval. She stared back at Tony with her unblinking eyes. Tony reached down and as he carefully picked Maribel up, smiled.

"You look more like your mommy everyday," Tony said as he softly pressed his lips to her forehead. "But that's a good thing; your mommy is very pretty."

This was true; Maribel had Maria's dark curls, her delicate features, and her contagious smile. The only thing of Maria's Maribel hadn't gotten were her eyes. No, Maribel's eyes obviously had come from Tony: a clear shade of blue. The doctor has told them all babies are born with blue eyes, and in time they'd probably fade into the same shade of brown that Maria's were. But they hadn't changed yet, and Tony didn't think they ever would.

"You hungry Maribel? Huh?" Tony asked as he walked downstairs. He then wandered into the kitchen and began searching for where Maria kept the cans of baby formula. As he fumbled around with jars and cans, he glanced down at Maribel, who currently had one of Tony's fingers in her mouth.

"Okay Maribel; Daddy never did this, so bear with me," he said as he swiped a clean bottle off of the counter. He unevenly began to measure out formula, some of it landing on the counter and floor. All the while, Maribel watched her father with curious eyes, as if even she knew Tony wasn't doing it correctly. As Tony read the label on the formula can, he shook his head.

"It says here to measure out…huh? Or do I heat up…"

Maribel broke into a wail, causing Tony to drop the can and send the powdery mix all over the kitchen floor.

"Shh, Maribel don't cry." Avoiding the mess on the floor, Tony took a seat at the kitchen table. "Guess Mommy does this better, huh?"

Maribel continued to wail, leaving Tony at a loss. He hated to wake up Maria; Saturday was one of the few days that she could rely on Tony to see that Maribel was fed and changed. He knew he could do it, but as Tony tried to calm the baby he felt helpless. Then he got an idea.

"You know Maribel, yesterday it was one year since I met your mommy. We met at a dance; just like the people do in all of those fairytales that I bet you'll like someday." Tony smiled; Maribel was still sniffling a little, but she wasn't crying. "You'll be able to tell people that your mommy and daddy made their own fairytale. Yeah; me and Mommy used to live in a scary, dirty place where we couldn't love each other. But Mommy and I didn't listen to them, and decided to love each other. We even decided to run away together. But it wasn't that easy. No, first Daddy had to try and stop his friends from doing something _very _bad. Something that I hope you _never _have to witness Maribel."

Tony rested Maribel's head against his shoulder. He began rubbing a hand over her back like he'd seen Maria do hundreds of times, hoping it would soothe her tears.

"But Daddy couldn't stop his friends. And…Daddy did something that he isn't very proud of and doesn't like to talk about. But I'm telling you about it Maribel because you need to know that not even your mommy and daddy are perfect. So, after that, I had to tell Mommy sorry for what I did, because that's what you do when you love someone. Luckily, Mommy forgave Daddy, and after that we ran away together."

Tony knew it was nuts telling a three month old baby this story, but Maria _had_ put him in charge of this task.

"Mommy and I were very happy that we'd finally gotten away from that scary, dirty place. Grant it, your mommy and I had our share of troubles for awhile, but things got better. Then we had you, which made _everything_ get better. A lot better."

* * *

><p>Maria opened her eyes, expecting to see Tony still out cold next to her. Instead, she found just the inprint of his body on the mattress and the rumpled sheets that he'd pushed away when he woke. As Maria stared at his empty side of the bed, she thought about how last year on this day she was waking up on a bus. Maria smiled as she stretched her arms and after pulling her robe around her, walked towards the window. She drew the curtains; the curious sunlight spilled across the floor, the bed, and herself. Outside, Maria could see that the milkman was finishing up on his route, the woman across the street was already outside watering her flowers, and it seemed that Carol was giving the paper boy a talking to about knocking over her trash cans; Maria smiled, knowing it would take baby steps to get Carol to completely change.<p>

Yesterday came and went, and today was just another typical Saturday. And to Maria's surprise, she felt no different. She thought that maybe, because yesterday marked one year since the ending of her old life, and today was the beginning of the life that she'd come to love, that she'd feel different. But...she _didn't_;_ s_he felt just as she did any other morning. There was no epiphany for Maria, no feelings of being wiser from experience. All she felt was the usual happiness in knowing that today was another day that she'd get to spend with Tony and Maribel. And maybe, Maria decided, that was all she needed to feel.

**~.~ **

When Maria reached the bottom of the stairs, she could hear Tony's voice from the kitchen. She paused in the doorway, not even caring that he'd emptied an entire can of formula onto the floor.

"In August, me and Mommy will be married for one whole year Maribel," Tony said. "One year and counting. A lot sure happened in this past year, but we still stood up in the hard parts."

"That was because we had each other."

Tony quickly turned his head. "Morning." He looked to the floor, turning a bit red. "Uh, I can explain about the..."

"Forget that," Maria said as she joined Tony at the table. She relieved Tony of his duties and took Maribel into her own arms. "Did Daddy take good care of you?"

Maribel latched her tiny hands onto Maria's robe and buried her face into it. Maria looked up at Tony and smiled. He just shook his head.

"I tried." He watched Maria get up from the table and as she effortlessly began preparing Maribel's bottle, said, "I think today I'm finally going to paint the fence out front; you seemed to tap into Carol's soft side yesterday, and I'd like to make that last."

"I am sure she will like that. She _has _asked you...three, four times at least."

"Very funny Maria."

Maria laughed to herself. "Maybe you could paint the mailbox while you are at it."

"Now lets not get ahead of ourselves." Tony paused and watched Maria for a moment. He thought about all the ones who said he couldn't or the ones who had laughed when he spoke of plans for the future. All Tony had to say to that was, "Besides, I was thinking maybe we could do something tonight. We have a lot to celebrate."

Maria turned away from the counter and smiled. "Yes, we do."


End file.
